The bar charts below provide information about honey production and honey producing colonies in the five American states in 2006.
Sample Response
The bar charts showdiagrams delineate how many beehives there werehow many beehives were there in five US states in 2006 and how much honey these states producedassembled in the same year. As a general trend, the higher the number of honey-yielding bee colonies in a state, the morehigher honey it produced and North Dakota was aton the top of the list while Wisconsin was at the bottomwhile Wisconsin on the bottom. It is conspicuous that North Dakota had the largest number of bee colonieshighest bee colonies in 2006, at 350 thousandin 2006 which accounted for 350 thousand. From these coloniesthese swarm hives, this state producedcollected the largesthighest amount of honey, over 25 million pounds. Interestingly, South Dakota had the second-largest number of bee colonies, roughly 225 thousand, butroughly 225 thousand but its honey production was similar to the figures forsomewhat similar to that of Montana and Minnesota, each of which had approximately 130 thousand coloniesbeehives. WisconsinWisconsin state had just over 50 thousand bee colonies, the lowest among the given states, and it also had the lowest honey productionits honey production was the least as well, somewhat more than 5 million pounds.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear overall relationship between colony numbers and honey production, identifies the highest and lowest states, and makes a useful comparison among the middle-ranking states. Its main weakness is limited numerical detail for honey output outside North Dakota and Wisconsin, alongside several awkward phrases. The priority is to add precise production figures for South Dakota, Montana, and Minnesota while using more natural comparative language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and state rankings are accurate, but the account gives few precise honey-production figures for the three middle states.
Support the comparison by stating that South Dakota produced about 11 million pounds, Montana roughly 10.5 million, and Minnesota 10 million.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from an overview to ranked details, although presenting everything in one paragraph limits the clarity of its structure.
Place the overview in a separate paragraph and group the highest and lowest states apart from the three similar middle producers.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably wide range of task vocabulary, but phrases such as 'assembled honey', 'higher honey', and 'swarm hives' are unnatural.
Prefer precise collocations such as 'produced honey', 'greater output', and 'honey-producing colonies'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a useful range of complex structures, but word-order, comparison, agreement, and missing-verb errors appear repeatedly.
Correct embedded-question order and comparative clauses, for example 'how many beehives there were' and 'the more honey it produced'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar charts below provide information about honey production and honey producing colonies in the five American states in 2006.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.