1. The bar chart below shows the types of music bought in the USA in 2010, by age group.
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Sample Response
The bar chart indicates the quantity of recordings’ sales of four different music types in the USAin USA by five age groups in the year 2010over the period of 2010.
Overall, it is clear that across all age groups, teenagers and young people liked pop music and paid for its recordings, which reached the peak inattended to the peak of sales, while middle-aged adults spent a little money on pop music. Meanwhile, as people grow older, they showed stronger interest in classical musicinterests on classic music and were glad to pay for it; theirpay for it, their preferences and expenses on classic music were just slightly lower than young people’s on pop by 2010.
The figure for the expenses that people in the 16-22 age groupin 16-22 age group in the USA paid for pop music recordings attended to the peak across all age groups and all music genres, at nearly 5.8 million dollars4.8 million dollars. Rock music followed pop, with 3.8 million dollars’ sales from these young people atin the same time. They only spent around 2 million and 1.8 million dollars on Jazz and Classicalspent 3.8 million dollars on both Jazz and Classic music recordings in the year 2010, which was still lower than pop. Among older consumersAs getting older, people in the 23-31 age bracket23-31 age spent more money on rock music recordings, about 4.2 million dollars. Pop, Jazz and Classic followed behind, with 3.5, 2.8, 2.2 million dollars respectively.2.2 million。
People in 32-57 age group spent the most onpaid most on rock music recordings around 3.2 and 3.8 million dollars respectivelyabout 7 millions all, conversely pop music was not their preferences, with around 3 million dollars. Whenwhen people were over 58 years old, they equally liked rock, pop and jazz music and most liked the classic that the figure of its sales on classic attended to the second most sales in 2010, around 4.5 to 4.7 million dollarsabout 4.5 million dollars.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully presents an overview and captures major trends across the age groups. However, key data points are inaccurate, such as underreporting pop sales for the youngest demographic and incorrectly combining distinct age brackets. To improve, double-check numerical figures against the chart axis and refine sentence structure to eliminate frequent comma splices and awkward phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
An overview is provided, but several main data points are misread or inaccurately merged across age groups.
Verify all numerical figures carefully against the visual chart before writing to avoid reporting incorrect data.
Coherence and Cohesion
The body paragraphs follow a loose progression, but run-on sentences and blurred category boundaries hinder smooth coherence.
Group data logically by following the exact categories on the graph and use clear transition words between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is mostly adequate to describe trends, though there are repeated collocations errors and word form issues.
Use correct musical terminology such as classical rather than classic and adopt natural trend phrases like reached a peak.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are attempted, but comma splices and grammatical inaccuracies occur frequently throughout the text.
Break long compound sentences into shorter, grammatically complete complex sentences using proper conjunctions.