The chart below shows the percentage of the total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.
Sample Response
The column graph depicts the percentages of senior citizens in the USA throughout the 20th century according to the decennial census population data of the U.S. Census Bureau. Generally speaking, the proportion of elderly peopleGenerally speaking, elderly people in the USA increased over the period fromof 1900 to 2000. citizens aged 65 to 7465 to 74 years old citizens formed the largest elderly age groupwere highest in percentage among elderly Americans during this time. As can be seen in the chart, about 4.1% of Americansfour out of every hundred Americans were over 64 years old in 1900. Moreover, the ratio of people aged 85 and overpeople over 85 years old in 1900 was 0.2%in this year was insignificant. During the first three decades, the percentage of elderly people in the USA increased by about 1.2 percentage pointsincreased by merely 1%, and there was no change in the percentage of citizens aged 85 and overcitizens aged over 85 years. Over the following sixty yearsThen in the next sixty years, the percentage of senior citizens rose to a peak of 12.5%surged to a maximum of over 12% of the total population. However, in the last ten years of the century, the total proportion dropped slightlythe number dropped slightly. By 2000, the majorityBy the year 2000 majority of elderly people were agedbetween 65 to 74, accounting for 6.5% of the total populationwhich was 6.5%, and the people aged 85 and overcitizens aged 85+ were only 1.5%.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear, accurate overview of the long-term rise, the 1990 peak, and the slight final decline, with relevant figures for the youngest and oldest elderly groups. Its main weakness is limited coverage of the 75–84 group and the absence of paragraphing, while a few age-group expressions are awkward. Prioritise a separate overview and detail structure that compares all three age bands.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main overall pattern and several important values are accurately reported, but the substantial 75–84 group receives almost no specific coverage.
Add representative figures for the 75–84 group and compare its growth directly with the 65–74 and 85+ groups.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move chronologically and linking is generally clear, but the entire report is presented as one paragraph without a distinct overview or detail grouping.
Use separate paragraphs for the overview and for the chronological age-group comparisons.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably varied range describes trends and age groups, although phrases such as 'elderly people increased' and '65 to 74 years old citizens' lack precision.
Prefer precise forms such as 'the proportion of elderly people increased' and 'people aged 65–74.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Most sentences are clear and several complex forms are controlled, but article, age-range, and relative-clause errors remain noticeable.
Edit noun phrases and comparisons carefully, especially articles before 'majority' and the forms 'aged 65–74' and 'from 65 to 74.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage of the total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.