The chart below shows the percentage of the total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.
Sample Response
The column graph summarises the percentages of elderly citizens in the USA aged 65 and overwho were above 64 years old between 1900 and 2000 based on the U.S. Census Bureau's decennial census of population data.
Generally speaking, the ratio of senior citizens in the USA increased significantly over the period, and citizens aged 65 to 7465 to 74 years old citizens were the largest group among older Americansthe highest in percentage in terms of their ratio among the elderly Americans. According to the graph, four out of every hundred Americansfour out of hundred Americans were above 64 years old in 1900 and the majority of them were between 65 andto 74 years old at that time. Moreover, the ratio of people over 85 years old in that yearin this decade was very smallinsignificant. By 1930After three decades, however, the proportion of elderly peoplethe elderly people’s ratio in the US reached over 5% and this figure continued to increaseit kept on increasing until the end of the 20th century. Thus, almost one in ten US citizens was elderly in 1970 and 0.7% of the population was aged 85 or over0.7% of them were 85 years old. The growth of senior citizens further accelerated after 1980 in the USA. As a consequence, by 2000during the last two decades of the 20th century, the USA hadhad been the home to 12.4% of people aged 65 and over12% of senior citizens and 4.4%almost 4.5% of them were aged 75 to 84between 75 to 84 years old and 1.5% were aged 85 and over1.5% above 85 years old.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview of the long-term rise in the elderly population and identifies the 65–74 group as the largest segment, supported by relevant figures from several years. Its main limitation is that it overlooks the slight fall in the total after 1990 and sometimes conflates values from 1990 and 2000. Prioritise a more precise comparison of the final decades and use exact age-group figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trend and dominant age group are identified with relevant data, but the final-period pattern and some year-specific values are not represented precisely.
Show that the total peaked in 1990 before easing slightly in 2000, and distinguish the two final years' age-group figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, overview, and chronological progression, with only occasional overuse or imprecision in linking expressions.
Group the early and late periods into separate detail paragraphs and avoid causal connectors when the graph only shows sequence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and generally appropriate, though repeated use of ratio and phrases such as very insignificant are occasionally awkward.
Use more precise reporting terms such as proportion, segment, marginal, peak, and slight decline.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good range of complex structures with generally clear control, despite several minor article, age-expression, and agreement errors.
Edit age ranges into forms such as 65- to 74-year-olds and check articles and omitted verbs in comparative clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage of the total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.