The chart below shows the relative percentage of different types of cheese production in the USA. Cheese Production in the USA
Sample Response
The pie chart shows a comparison data on cheese production in the USA. As is obvious, Cheddar and Mozzarella brands are two leading cheese makers in the United States. According to the given illustration, Cheddar manufactures more than one-third of the total cheese in the US market while the second position in terms of cheese production is held by Mozzarella, which is an Italian cheese manufacturer. The latter makes slightly over 30% of all cheese in the USA. All other US cheese manufacturers supply just over 8 percent of cheese demands while a similar proportion of cheese is produced by other Italian cheese makers. Swiss cheese makers supply the lowest proportion of cheese in the USA which accounts for marginally less than 3% of the total. Finally, all other cheese producers cumulatively make just over 13% of the demand. In summary, US cheese production is led by two companies – Cheddar and Mozzarella, and all other manufacturers have around a quarter production share in the US market.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix data phrase Original: a comparison data Suggested revision: comparative data Why it matters: “Data” is not used with the singular article in this phrase.
- 2. Signal overview Original: As is obvious Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: “Overall” more clearly introduces the report's main pattern.
- 3. Use cheese types Original: Cheddar and Mozzarella brands Suggested revision: Cheddar and Mozzarella Why it matters: The chart presents types of cheese, not commercial brands.
- 4. Correct chart category Original: leading cheese makers Suggested revision: leading types of cheese Why it matters: Cheddar and Mozzarella are cheese varieties rather than producers.
- 5. Use accounts for Original: Cheddar manufactures Suggested revision: Cheddar accounts for Why it matters: A cheese type accounts for a production share; it does not manufacture cheese.
- 6. Specify production Original: the total cheese Suggested revision: total cheese production Why it matters: The chart measures production shares, so the noun “production” should be explicit.
- 7. Use concise ranking Original: the second position in terms of cheese production is held by Suggested revision: the second-largest share belongs to Why it matters: This concise phrase describes the ranking more naturally.
- 8. Correct category type Original: an Italian cheese manufacturer Suggested revision: an Italian cheese Why it matters: Mozzarella is identified as an Italian cheese variety, not a manufacturer.
- 9. Use accounts for Original: makes slightly over 30% Suggested revision: accounts for just over 30% Why it matters: A category accounts for a share rather than making a percentage.
- 10. Correct producer wording Original: US cheese manufacturers supply Suggested revision: Other American cheeses account for Why it matters: “Other American” is a cheese category in the chart, not a group of manufacturers.
- 11. Correct value and measure Original: 8 percent of cheese demands Suggested revision: 8.8% of production Why it matters: The chart shows a production share of 8.8%, not a share of demand.
- 12. Use cheese varieties Original: other Italian cheese makers Suggested revision: other Italian cheeses Why it matters: The label refers to cheese types, not producers.
Suggested Rewrites
- a comparison data comparative data
- As is obvious Overall
- Cheddar and Mozzarella brands Cheddar and Mozzarella
- leading cheese makers leading types of cheese
- Cheddar manufactures Cheddar accounts for
- the total cheese total cheese production
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response reports most percentages accurately and clearly highlights Cheddar and Mozzarella as the two largest segments, using a generally fluent range of comparative language. Its main limitation is a systematic misreading of cheese types as brands, companies, or manufacturers, compounded by an inaccurate final claim about the remaining share. Describe the chart categories exactly as labelled and verify every summary calculation before writing the overview.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
Most proportions and the two leading categories are reported accurately, but cheese types are repeatedly misidentified as producers and the final combined-share claim is inaccurate.
Describe every segment as a type or category of cheese and check that the four smaller categories total about one third, not one quarter.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses clearly from the two largest shares to the smaller ones and ends with a summary, but the single-paragraph presentation limits structural clarity.
Use separate introduction, overview, and detail paragraphs, grouping the two dominant categories apart from the four smaller segments.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably varied comparative vocabulary is used, though repeated references to brands, makers, and manufacturers are inaccurate for the chart.
Choose category-accurate terms such as cheese type, segment, share, and production proportion, and avoid treating product labels as companies.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally good control, and the remaining grammatical errors are occasional and non-impeding.
Refine article and noun-phrase accuracy in expressions such as comparative data and a quarter of production, and check relative-clause reference.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the relative percentage of different types of cheese production in the USA. Cheese Production in the USA
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.