The chart below shows the relative percentage of different types of cheese production in the USA.
Sample Response
The pie chart shows cheese production shares in the US market by different manufacturers. Overall, two prominent brands dominate almost two-third of the US cheese production and one of these two in an Italian company. As can be seen in the pie chart, Cheddar cheese is the single most produced cheese in America with its relative share over one-third of the total. This is closely followed by an Italian manufacturer, Mozzarella, whose relative production share is just over 30%. Other Italian and Swiss cheese producers are present in the US cheese manufacturing but their cheese making share is not significant. They produce around one-tenth of the total cheese. The least percentage of cheese is produced by Swizz companies. A similar percentage of cheese making, 8.8% to be precise, is controlled by other American brands. The remaining manufacturers, marked as ‘all others’, produce around 13% cheese in the US market. In short, Cheddar produces the highest percentage of cheese in the US market followed by an Italian brand – Mozzarella.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe cheese types Original: different manufacturers Suggested revision: different types of cheese Why it matters: The chart categorises types of cheese rather than manufacturers.
- 2. Use chart categories Original: two prominent brands Suggested revision: two leading types of cheese Why it matters: Cheddar and mozzarella are cheese types, not brands.
- 3. Use plural fraction Original: third Suggested revision: thirds Why it matters: A fraction with a numerator above one requires the plural form.
- 4. Correct verb form Original: in Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The clause requires the linking verb “is”.
- 5. Identify the category Original: company Suggested revision: cheese Why it matters: Mozzarella is presented as an Italian cheese category in the chart.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: single most produced cheese Suggested revision: most widely produced cheese Why it matters: This collocation expresses the leading production share more naturally.
- 7. Clarify the proportion Original: with its relative share over Suggested revision: accounting for over Why it matters: The participle phrase needs a verb that directly links Cheddar to its share.
- 8. Correct category label Original: an Italian manufacturer, Mozzarella Suggested revision: the Italian cheese mozzarella Why it matters: The visual identifies mozzarella as a cheese type rather than a manufacturer.
- 9. Name cheese categories Original: Other Italian and Swiss cheese producers Suggested revision: Other Italian and Swiss cheeses Why it matters: These labels refer to cheese categories, not producers.
- 10. Use precise noun Original: manufacturing Suggested revision: production Why it matters: “Production” accurately describes the shares shown in the chart.
- 11. Clarify combined share Original: their cheese making share Suggested revision: their combined production share Why it matters: This phrase clearly refers to the total proportion of the two categories.
- 12. Use correct comparison Original: The least percentage Suggested revision: The smallest share Why it matters: “Smallest share” is the standard expression for the lowest pie-chart segment.
Suggested Rewrites
- different manufacturers different types of cheese
- two prominent brands two leading types of cheese
- third thirds
- in is
- company cheese
- single most produced cheese most widely produced cheese
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and accurately identifies Cheddar and Mozzarella as the two dominant categories, with most of the remaining proportions also reported appropriately. Its main limitation is imprecise interpretation of the categories as companies or manufacturers, alongside several awkward grammatical constructions. The highest priority is to describe each cheese category precisely and proofread comparative and percentage expressions for grammatical accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main proportions and ranking are accurately selected, but several cheese categories are misleadingly described as brands, companies, or manufacturers.
Refer consistently to cheese types and support the overview with exact figures for the two dominant categories.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from the largest shares to smaller categories, though the single-paragraph presentation and repeated concluding point weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons and avoid restating the same ranking at the end.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for reporting proportions, but expressions such as cheese making share and Swizz companies are imprecise or incorrect.
Use accurate chart language such as category, accounted for, and proportion, and check spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures conveys the meaning, but recurring errors with agreement, articles, fractions, and clause construction reduce control.
Proofread complex sentences for complete verb structures and forms such as two-thirds and an Italian category.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the relative percentage of different types of cheese production in the USA.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.