The table below shows the number of vehicles registered in Australia in 2010, 2012 and 2014.
Sample Response
The table presents the number of registered vehicles in Australia for different vehicle types between 2010 and 2014 and the overall percentage growth. Overall, the figures for all vehicle types increased, with passenger vehicles accounting for the majority of all vehicles in all years. Additionally, the biggest growth could be seen in the number of registered motorcycles. In 2010, the number of registered passenger vehicles was 11 million, compared to commercial vehicles and motorcycles, at 2.3 million and 570,000 respectively(1). By 2014, the number of passenger vehicles rose 18.2% to reach 13 million, while the number of commercial vehicles rose by 17.4% to reach 2.7 million (2). Meanwhile, the number of registered motorcycles saw the biggest growth, at 30.7%, rising from 570,000 to 745,000. The figures for light and heavy trucks also increased over the measured period, with heavy trucks rising 10.2%, from 384,000 to 423,000, and light trucks rising 23.5%, from 106,000 to 131,000.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match the table label Original: growth Suggested revision: change Why it matters: The table labels this column as percentage change, so matching it improves precision.
- 2. Use a precise comparison Original: the majority of all vehicles Suggested revision: by far the largest vehicle category Why it matters: This wording makes the comparison with every other category more explicit.
- 3. Use concise reporting Original: the biggest growth could be seen in Suggested revision: the largest percentage increase was recorded for Why it matters: The revision states the measured change more directly and precisely.
- 4. Fix comparison structure Original: compared to commercial vehicles and motorcycles, at Suggested revision: while the corresponding figures for commercial vehicles and motorcycles were Why it matters: The original comparison does not form a complete parallel clause for the two figures.
- 5. Remove stray marker Original: respectively(1) Suggested revision: respectively Why it matters: The parenthetical source marker is not part of the report and disrupts the sentence ending.
- 6. Add change preposition Original: rose 18.2% Suggested revision: rose by 18.2% Why it matters: Use by before a percentage that expresses the amount of change.
- 7. Remove stray marker Original: 2.7 million (2) Suggested revision: 2.7 million Why it matters: The parenthetical marker is extraneous and should not appear in the report.
- 8. Name the measure precisely Original: saw the biggest growth Suggested revision: recorded the largest percentage increase Why it matters: This phrasing identifies the percentage measure directly and uses a formal reporting verb.
- 9. Use natural chart wording Original: over the measured period Suggested revision: over the period shown Why it matters: The period is displayed rather than measured by the writer.
- 10. Include the middle year Suggested revision: Add selected 2012 figures or comparisons, especially where they clarify how growth developed between 2010 and 2014. Why it matters: The response accurately covers the endpoints but gives no information from the table's 2012 column.
Suggested Rewrites
- growth change
- the majority of all vehicles by far the largest vehicle category
- the biggest growth could be seen in the largest percentage increase was recorded for
- compared to commercial vehicles and motorcycles, at while the corresponding figures for commercial vehicles and motorcycles were
- respectively(1) respectively
- rose 18.2% rose by 18.2%
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear overview and accurately selects the dominant category, fastest growth, and relevant start-to-end figures, while its language is generally precise and well controlled. Its main limitation is that it completely omits the 2012 data and presents all information in one block; the priority is to add one or two meaningful mid-period comparisons and separate the overview from the detailed figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate figures cover the main categories, rankings, and growth rates, although the 2012 data are omitted.
Add a selective comparison using the 2012 figures to show how the categories developed during the period.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from the overview to grouped details, but the entire response is presented as one paragraph.
Separate the introduction and overview from the detailed comparisons to make the structure more immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary for describing quantities and change is accurate and appropriately varied, with only some repetition of vehicles, figures, and rose.
Use a few more precise alternatives for repeated change language while preserving the response's strong accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is used with high accuracy, and the few minor lapses do not impede meaning.
Polish change expressions by using forms such as rose by 18.2% consistently.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the number of vehicles registered in Australia in 2010, 2012 and 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.