The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999.
Sample Response
The line graph presents data on vehicle theft cases in Great Britain, Sweden, France and Canada from 1990 to 1999. As is obvious, car thefts in Great Britain were higher than that of other countries while this rate noticeably increased in Sweden. According to the diagram, roughly 17 transportations in every thousand were stolen in the Great Britain in 1990 while this rate was between 6 to 8 per thousand in France, Canada and Sweden. Automobile embezzlement in Great Britain steadily climbed till 1993 at which point 2% cars were reported abducted. With some minor fluctuations, car lifting rates in France and Canada remained almost constant throughout the years. In contrast, carrier stealing rate in Sweden kept on soaring and in 1995 this proportion reached as high as 10 in every thousand vehicles. Motor vehicle theft in Great Britain sharply declined in 1994 but grew again till 1997 to strike 2% again. Afterwards, car theft incidents in Great Britain firmly declined between 1997 and 1999 when it actually increased in Sweden. Finally, in 1999, almost 1.5% automobiles in Great Britain and Sweden were reported stolen while it was almost one-third of that in France and Canada.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong noun Original: 17 transportations Suggested revision: 17 vehicles Why it matters: Transportation is not a countable synonym for vehicles.
- 2. Remove article Original: in the Great Britain Suggested revision: in Great Britain Why it matters: Country names normally take no article here.
- 3. Use chart term Original: Automobile embezzlement Suggested revision: Vehicle theft Why it matters: Embezzlement refers to financial misappropriation.
- 4. Percentage form Original: 2% cars Suggested revision: 2% of cars Why it matters: A percentage requires of before the noun.
- 5. Wrong collocation Original: reported abducted Suggested revision: reported stolen Why it matters: Vehicles are stolen, not abducted.
- 6. Informal wording Original: car lifting rates Suggested revision: car-theft rates Why it matters: Car lifting is not suitable formal chart language.
- 7. Unclear phrase Original: carrier stealing rate Suggested revision: vehicle-theft rate Why it matters: Carrier stealing does not describe the measure.
- 8. Qualify trend Original: kept on soaring Suggested revision: rose overall Why it matters: Sweden rose overall but included short stable periods.
- 9. Formal verb Original: strike 2% Suggested revision: reach 2% Why it matters: Reach is the conventional verb for a value.
- 10. Fix value phrase Original: almost 1.5% automobiles Suggested revision: about 1.6% of vehicles Why it matters: Great Britain ended at roughly 16 per thousand.
- 11. Separate values Original: in Great Britain and Sweden Suggested revision: in Great Britain and 1.4% in Sweden Why it matters: The two 1999 values are not equal.
- 12. Sharper link Original: Finally, in 1999 Suggested revision: By 1999 Why it matters: This directly marks the endpoint.
Suggested Rewrites
- 17 transportations 17 vehicles
- in the Great Britain in Great Britain
- Automobile embezzlement Vehicle theft
- 2% cars 2% of cars
- reported abducted reported stolen
- car lifting rates car-theft rates
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report identifies the dominant position of Great Britain and the sustained rise in Sweden, and it includes enough figures to convey the main patterns. Its main weakness is imprecise reporting, especially the inaccurate final comparison and several forced synonyms for vehicles and theft. Prioritise exact visual comparisons and use standard chart vocabulary instead of repeatedly replacing key terms with unnatural alternatives.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and most major trends are reported, but the 1999 comparison is inaccurate and some movements are oversimplified.
Check every stated figure against the graph and compare final values separately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses chronologically, though the single dense paragraph and repeated transitions limit clarity.
Separate the overview from two grouped detail paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is range, but many substitutes for vehicle theft are unnatural or inaccurate.
Use precise recurring terms such as vehicle theft rate rather than forced synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of structures is generally clear, with recurring article, preposition and noun-phrase errors.
Proofread articles, comparison forms and percentage constructions.