The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over three different areas. Wheat Exports from 1985 to 1990 (in million tonnes)
Sample Response
The line graph compares the quantity of wheat Australia, Canada, and the European Community exported between 1985 and 1990. Overall, the European Union’s wheat shipping increased over the time while Australia experienced a downward trend in its wheat trading. Although wheat exports of the three given areas have fluctuated, Canada had the most noticeable oscillations throughout the given period. The European Union exported approximately 17.5 million tonnes of wheat in 1985 and the export fell below 15 million tonnes in the following year. Then, it increased to 15 million tonnes in the subsequent year and remained steady in 1988. EU’s wheat export surged in the next two years and in 1990 their wheat export was more than 20 million tonnes. On the other hand, Australia’s wheat export in 1985 was the lowest, 15 million tonnes, among the given three regions. In the year that followed, the import improved with at least 1 million tonnes before it continuously declined in the subsequent years, hitting the lowest wheat export figure as little as 12 million tonnes in 1990. Canada’s wheat export was the highest of the three given regions in 1985 with nearly 20 million tonnes. Next year, it decreased to about 17 million tonnes before it significantly increased in the following two years, reaching 25 million tonnes in 1988, the highest. However, in 1989, it plunged to around 5 million tones below its initial wheat exports figure in 1985 and settled to 20 million tones and the end of the period.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Precise term Original: wheat shipping Suggested revision: wheat exports Why it matters: Exports is the measured quantity.
- 2. Remove article Original: over the time Suggested revision: over time Why it matters: This fixed expression takes no article.
- 3. Use measure Original: wheat trading Suggested revision: wheat exports Why it matters: Trading is broader than the charted exports.
- 4. Tense consistency Original: have fluctuated Suggested revision: fluctuated Why it matters: The period is finished and dated.
- 5. Agreement Original: their wheat export Suggested revision: its wheat exports Why it matters: The European Community is treated as singular here.
- 6. Wrong measure Original: the import improved Suggested revision: exports increased Why it matters: The chart reports exports, not imports.
- 7. Preposition Original: with at least 1 million tonnes Suggested revision: by about 1 million tonnes Why it matters: By expresses the amount of change.
- 8. Neutral figure Original: as little as 12 million tonnes Suggested revision: to 12 million tonnes Why it matters: The emphatic phrase is unnecessary.
- 9. Add article Original: Next year Suggested revision: The next year Why it matters: The definite article is needed in this phrase.
- 10. Spelling Original: 5 million tones Suggested revision: 5 million tonnes Why it matters: Tonnes is misspelled.
- 11. Correct endpoint Original: settled to 20 million tones Suggested revision: recovered to 18 million tonnes Why it matters: Canada ends at about 18, not 20.
- 12. Preposition Original: and the end of the period Suggested revision: at the end of the period Why it matters: At marks the endpoint.
Suggested Rewrites
- wheat shipping wheat exports
- over the time over time
- wheat trading wheat exports
- have fluctuated fluctuated
- their wheat export its wheat exports
- the import improved exports increased
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report provides a clear overview of the three contrasting export patterns and supports it with generally accurate chronological detail. The main limitation is occasional imprecision, notably Canada's 1990 figure, together with several awkward collocations and reference errors. Improve by checking each endpoint carefully and using consistent terms such as exports, tonnes and the European Community throughout the description.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The main trends and peak are well selected, but Canada's endpoint is overstated and a few approximations are loose.
Verify all six-year endpoints and use exact comparative figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and three regional descriptions form a logical progression, although some referencing is mechanical.
Use clearer paragraphing and direct region names where pronouns could be ambiguous.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for trends, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate.
Use exports rather than shipping, trading or import when describing the series.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted successfully, with recurring agreement, article and possessive-reference errors.
Check pronoun agreement and comparative noun phrases.