The chart below shows how the telephone subscribers in Vietnam developed throughout the year 2010.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates how the number of telephone subscribers in Vietnam grewVietnamese telephone users grew during the year 2010. Overall, the telephone subscribers in Vietnam gradually increased throughout 2010throughout the in 2010. As shown in the chartAs is presented in the diagram, the total number of Vietnamese telephone subscriberstotal Vietnamese telephone customers in January 2010 was 115.7 millionwas over 115 million and this number increased by about 2.7 millionincreased by 3 million in February. With a slight drop, the subscriber total stoodthe subscription stood at around 118 million in March and then rose towent as high as over 142 million in August 2010. Afterwards, the subscriber total droppedtotal users dropped slightlya bit before rising to overjumping over 144 million in October that yearin October in this year. With a steady rise, total phone subscribers in Vietnam reachedreached to over 153 million, whichmillion which was almost 40 million greater than the number of subscribers at the beginning of the year. It is worth notingnoticing that the number of telephone subscribers in Vietnam increased overallprogressively developed except in March and September when the subscriber total actually declinedtelephone users actually declined than the preceding month and the largest monthly increase in subscriptions occurredlargest number of new telephone users subscribed between June and July, roughly 7 million.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response selects the central trend, both temporary declines, the largest monthly increase, and relevant figures with a high degree of accuracy. Its main weakness is language control: several awkward collocations and grammatical errors appear in an otherwise clear one-paragraph account. Prioritise cleaner sentence construction and conventional trend language, while separating the overview from the detailed chronological description.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview is supported by accurate start, intermediate and end figures, with both declines and the largest monthly increase correctly identified.
Refine the overview by explicitly contrasting the strong overall rise with the two minor month-to-month falls in one concise sentence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological progression is easy to follow and linking is generally effective, but the single paragraph and long final sentence weaken organisation.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and divide the data into early- and late-year stages with shorter, better-balanced sentences.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of trend vocabulary conveys the changes clearly, though developed, reached to and declined than are inaccurate collocations.
Use standard forms such as rose to, reached, fell slightly and was lower than, and reduce repetition of telephone subscribers and users.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied structures and remains clear, but errors in agreement, prepositions and sentence boundaries recur across the report.
Proofread for agreement and preposition patterns, and split the final compound sentence to avoid an overloaded structure.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows how the telephone subscribers in Vietnam developed throughout the year 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.