Band 7.0 IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 Correction

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Number of books borrowed from four village libraries Types of Books Borrowed

IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 writing task image

Sample Response

The line graph outlines the number of books people rented from four rural libraries between June and September 2014 while the Pie chart gives data on the kinds of books that were borrowed from those libraries. Generally speaking, the number of borrowed books fluctuated throughout the months and fiction was the most popular category among those library goers. As is presented, People borrowed the highest number of books, 300 to be precise, from Ryeslip library in June 2014. With 250 renting, Sutton Wood library stood as the second highest lender of books at that time. West Eaton and Church Mount libraries dispatched 50 books each in June 2014. Interestingly, the number of books subscribers borrowed from Ryeslip library declined steadily over the next three months and in September it forwarded just over 150 books to readers. The most erratic pattern of lending books could be observed for Sutton Wood library but in September it allowed 300 books to be borrowed which was almost double than that of other libraries. Over the months, the book borrowing from West Eaton and Church Mount libraries increased and they showed a similar lending pattern. They each allowed 150 books to it readers in September. It is obvious that people mostly borrowed fictions from these libraries as more than 40% of borrowed books fell in this category. Borrowing ratio for history and science books accounted for 14% each and that was 5% lower than that of biology books. Self-help books’ borrowing ratio was exactly 10% which indicated one in ten books borrowed had this genre.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Use library verb Original: rented from four rural libraries Suggested revision: borrowed from four village libraries Why it matters: Borrowed is the correct verb, and village matches the prompt.
  • 2. Lowercase noun Original: the Pie chart Suggested revision: the pie chart Why it matters: Do not capitalise pie chart mid-sentence.
  • 3. Capitalisation Original: As is presented, People Suggested revision: As shown, people Why it matters: People should not be capitalised after a comma.
  • 4. Wrong noun Original: 250 renting Suggested revision: 250 borrowed books Why it matters: Renting is not the right noun here.
  • 5. Unnatural verb Original: dispatched 50 books each Suggested revision: lent 50 books each Why it matters: Dispatched sounds like shipping, not library lending.
  • 6. Wrong participant word Original: subscribers borrowed Suggested revision: readers borrowed Why it matters: Subscribers is not shown in the task.
  • 7. Unnatural verb Original: it forwarded just over 150 books Suggested revision: it lent just over 150 books Why it matters: Forwarded is not appropriate for library books.
  • 8. Comparative structure Original: double than that of other libraries Suggested revision: almost double the figure for each of the other libraries Why it matters: Double is not followed by than here.
  • 9. Possessive pronoun Original: 150 books to it readers Suggested revision: 150 books to their readers Why it matters: Their refers to the two libraries.
  • 10. Uncountable category Original: borrowed fictions Suggested revision: borrowed fiction Why it matters: Fiction is uncountable as a category.
  • 11. Wrong category label Original: biology books Suggested revision: biography books Why it matters: The pie chart category is Biography, not Biology.
  • 12. Natural term Original: Borrowing ratio Suggested revision: The borrowing proportion Why it matters: Proportion is more suitable for pie-chart data.

Suggested Rewrites

  • rented from four rural libraries borrowed from four village libraries
  • the Pie chart the pie chart
  • As is presented, People As shown, people
  • 250 renting 250 borrowed books
  • dispatched 50 books each lent 50 books each
  • subscribers borrowed readers borrowed
Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Feedback

The response gives a clear overview and covers both visuals: borrowing trends across the four libraries and the breakdown by book type. Most data is accurate, including Ryeslip’s decline, Sutton Wood’s erratic movement and fiction at 43%, though biography is incorrectly called biology.

Next step

Correct biography and add a concise comparison of West Eaton and Church Mount rising steadily from 50 to 150 books.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Feedback

The report is logically organised, moving from the line graph to the pie chart. Progression is clear, but the single long body paragraph would be easier to read if divided.

Next step

Use one paragraph for library trends and one for book-type proportions.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Feedback

Vocabulary is varied enough, but some choices are unnatural for library data, including rented, dispatched, forwarded and fictions.

Next step

Use borrowed, lent, issued, fiction and proportion.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Feedback

Grammar is generally clear, with errors in articles, plural nouns, capitalization and comparative structures. These are noticeable but do not prevent understanding.

Next step

Check plural and uncountable nouns, especially fiction, books and readers.