The bar chart shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second years of use.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the number of visitsvisit each month to a community website during the first and second years of operationyear of operate.
Overall, the community website recorded significantly more visits in its second year than its first year in almost every month, with Augustthe August being the only exception. In both the first and second yearsIn the both first and second year, website traffic declined during late winter and early springduring the winter and autumn months and rose markedly in summer.
In the first year, visits increased from around 2,000 in Septemberfrom around 2000 in September to 10,000 in bothto 10000 in both November and December. The figure then dropped sharply, reaching a low of approximately 1,000 in February and March.approximately 1000 in February and March. However, it subsequently began to gradually recover, with being very close to 5000 in April and peaking atto around 14500 in August.
A similar trend also happened in the second year. Websitewebsite visits rose substantially from roughly 3,500roughly 4000 in September to 17,000to 17000 in both November and December, before declining to 10000 in February and March.exactly 1000 in February and March. After that, the number increased rapidly and reached its highest point ofto about 22000 in June and July, then fell to 13000 in August.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay effectively highlights key trends and comparisons between the two years, supported by a clear overall summary. However, accuracy is compromised in the detailed reporting by misreading the second-year low point as 1,000 rather than 10,000. To improve, double-check numerical values against the chart axes and refine grammatical accuracy regarding articles and preposition usage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and covers main trends across both years, but contains a significant data inaccuracy regarding the second-year February and March figures.
Verify key data points carefully against the visual chart to prevent reporting incorrect figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically into dedicated paragraphs with clear progression throughout the report.
Vary cohesive phrases across paragraphs to maintain a smooth and natural flow between comparative observations.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of vocabulary for trends and comparisons is used effectively throughout the response.
Refine word choices and word formations to avoid minor slip-ups such as using operate instead of operation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, though minor errors in articles, plural nouns, and prepositions recur.
Review noun plurals, article rules, and preposition pairings following verb phrases like peak or reach.