The bar chart shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second years of use.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the number of visits to a community websitewebsites in the first and second years of use.
Overall, the number of visits in the second years is much higher than that in the first year except for Aug., while both of them show the trend that they increased first and then dropped, before finallyat the last, rose to a peak.
They beganThe bagan at a low level, there were just nearly 3,000 visits in the first year and 5,000 visits in the second year. After that, theythay both continued to rise. In November,At Nov., they reached the first peak, the first year standing at 10,000 visits and the other having approximately 17,500 visits.The first year of use dropped sharply, from 10,000 visits in Dec. to only about 1,000 visits in FebruaryFeb, and the second year of use just decreased by around 6,000 visits. Following this,And then, both of them continued to climb to around 23,000 visits in the second year andseond year and about 13,000 in the first year in Julyin first year in July. At last, both of them fell.
The second year of use was higherhiger than the first year of use, exceptexcpet in Aug.. For example, in Aug., the secondseond year of use decreased sharply from nearly 23,000 to approximately 13,000 visits, making it aroundaroung 2,0002000 visits lower than the first year in Aug. Besides, in some months, the number of visits in these two years remained the same. In Nov. and Dec., the number of visits of both yearsboth two years was the same, 10,000 in the first year and around 1723,000 in the second year. The same situation for the Feb. and Mar.. However, in June and July, the number of visits in the second year remained the same as 23,000, but that of the first yearthat of first year increased, from nearly 12,000 visits to about 13,000 visits.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully provides a overall overview and covers the main trends of the chart, though repetitive comparisons reduce structural clarity. The main limitation lies in frequent spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, such as comma splices and incorrect prepositions. Prioritize proofreading to eliminate basic mechanical errors and improve paragraph organization.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report includes a clear overview and covers key comparisons across the two years, though some descriptions of data trends are slightly inaccurate or confusingly phrased.
Ensure all specific figures and month-by-month comparisons accurately reflect the bar chart without misleading statements about identical values.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organised chronologically and by comparison, but paragraph structure is repetitive and transitions can feel awkward.
Group data more logically to avoid repeating the same points across different paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
You attempt to use a range of descriptive vocabulary, but frequent spelling mistakes and repetitive phrasing limit precision.
Review basic spelling of common terms and expand your range of synonyms for movement and comparison.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied in attempt, but grammatical errors and run-on sentences regularly occur throughout the essay.
Focus on correct sentence boundaries and preposition use to ensure complex structures are formed accurately.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second years of use.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.