The charts below show the percentage of water used by different sectors in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and 2007.
Sample Response
The two pie charts illustrate the percentage of water used by different sectorssections in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and 2007.
Overall, food industry used the most waterused the most of water in both 1997 and 2007, whereas the building industrywhereas building industry used the lowest proportion of waterused the lowest of water in 1997 and 2007. In addition, the water usage of the service industry in 2007service industry in 2007 was much higher than that in 1997, while the water usage of manufacturing in 2007 was much lower than its percentagepercantage in 1997.
Food industry used 48% of total water in 1997 and 41% of total water in 2007; it consumed2007, it consumed more of the total water thanthe most of total water than other sectors. Furthermore, building industry used the smallest share of total waterthe lowest of total water, only accounting for 5% in 1997, and this figure further decreased1997,and it still decreased to 2% in 2007.
Household water usageThe water usage of household use remained stable in 1997 and 2007, making up2007, it made up 19% in 1997, only 2 percentage points lower than its percentagepercantage in 2007. Besides, service industry and manufacturing shared the approximate water usage level in 1997, where the former made up 13% and the latterlater represented 15%. However, in 2007, the water use of service industry was much higher than that of manufacturing, as the service industry accounted for 25%manufacturing, which service industry constituted 25%, 14 percentage points higher than the percentage of water use in manufacturingmanucfacturing.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report effectively identifies key trends and provides accurate statistical comparisons across all sectors between 1997 and 2007. However, grammatical errors such as comma splices and missing articles, along with minor spelling and word choice inaccuracies, detract from the clarity. Focusing on improving complex sentence structures and refining prepositional phrases will yield the highest overall improvement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All main features and comparative trends are accurately presented with precise percentage support from both years.
Group minor data points together even more smoothly to make overall comparative summaries stand out further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically structured into clear paragraphs with appropriate overall transitions, though some clause connections within sentences are clumsy.
Fix comma splices by using proper subordinating conjunctions or semicolon structures to link related clauses.
Lexical Resource
A good range of data-reporting vocabulary is demonstrated, though spelling mistakes and redundant phrasing occur occasionally.
Eliminate recurring spelling errors like 'percantage' and refine unnatural expressions such as 'used the lowest of water'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted, but frequent grammar and punctuation errors remain noticeable throughout the text.
Ensure noun phrases include necessary articles and eliminate punctuation mistakes like missing spaces after commas.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the percentage of water used by different sectors in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and 2007.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.