The diagrams below show the main reasons workers chose to work from home and the hour’s males and females worked at home for the year 2019.
Sample Response
The bar chart outlines the proportion of working hours of males and females and the three primary reasons for working at home in the year 2019.
Overall, it is evident that the main purpose of work from home was to save money for both genders.’
The primary reason for work from home was to save money irrespective of both genders; however, the proportion of males was 45 percent as compared to females of 42vpercentage. For more productiveness, 24 percentage of men did more job at home whereas this rate is less than half in case of women which was only 11 percentage.
However, 26 percent of females worked at home for easier childcare which was more than 6times the rate of their male counterparts thus, males only devoted 4percentage.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: purpose of work from home Suggested revision: reason for working from home Why it matters: Reason for working from home is the correct expression for the category shown.
- 2. Remove stray apostrophe Original: both genders.’ Suggested revision: both genders. Why it matters: The apostrophe after the sentence-ending punctuation is erroneous.
- 3. Use gerund phrase Original: work Suggested revision: working Why it matters: Working is required to form the natural noun phrase.
- 4. Fix gender phrase Original: irrespective of both genders Suggested revision: for both genders Why it matters: Irrespective of both genders does not express that the reason ranked first for each group.
- 5. Name chart figure Original: proportion of males Suggested revision: figure for males Why it matters: The value is the percentage citing a reason, rather than the proportion of all males.
- 6. Use concise comparison Original: as compared to Suggested revision: compared with Why it matters: Compared with is the concise standard form for this direct comparison.
- 7. Repair percentage phrase Original: females of 42vpercentage Suggested revision: 42 percent for females Why it matters: This fixes the typo and gives the comparison a grammatical structure.
- 8. Use correct noun Original: For more productiveness Suggested revision: For greater productivity Why it matters: Productivity is the standard noun for the reason shown in the chart.
- 9. Use percent correctly Original: percentage Suggested revision: percent Why it matters: A specific numerical value takes percent rather than percentage.
- 10. State the choice clearly Original: did more job at home Suggested revision: chose to work from home Why it matters: The revision accurately describes the workers' choice rather than implying an amount of work.
- 11. Clarify comparison Original: this rate is less than half in case of women Suggested revision: the corresponding figure for women was less than half as high Why it matters: The revision creates a grammatical and clearly referenced comparison.
- 12. Fix percentage clause Original: which was only 11 percentage Suggested revision: at only 11 percent Why it matters: The value should be expressed with percent and linked directly to the comparison.
Suggested Rewrites
- purpose of work from home reason for working from home
- both genders.’ both genders.
- work working
- irrespective of both genders for both genders
- proportion of males figure for males
- as compared to compared with
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the dominant reason and reports all six percentages, with useful male-female comparisons. However, it is below the required length, its opening inaccurately refers to working hours, and frequent word-form, spacing, and grammatical errors weaken precision. Expand the report with a more accurate introduction and clearer comparisons, then proofread percentage expressions and sentence boundaries carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear main-feature overview and covers every category accurately, but it is under length and the introduction misidentifies the chart as showing working hours.
Paraphrase the visual accurately and develop the contrasting gender patterns, especially the much larger female figure for childcare.
Coherence and Cohesion
The short report has a clear introduction, overview, and logical category sequence, though however is overused and the final comparison is joined awkwardly.
Group the savings and productivity comparisons together, then present childcare in a separate, correctly linked sentence.
Lexical Resource
Some appropriate comparative vocabulary is attempted, but frequent errors such as productiveness, did more job, and 24 percentage make expression imprecise.
Use standard combinations such as greater productivity, worked from home, and 24 percent, and proofread all labels and figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex comparison structures, but errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, punctuation, and percentage forms occur frequently.
Build comparisons with controlled patterns such as 24% of men compared with 11% of women and separate the final clause into a new sentence.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below show the main reasons workers chose to work from home and the hour’s males and females worked at home for the year 2019.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.