The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to China and India.
Sample Response
The given pie charts depict information about the utilisation of food by the population of the world in 2008 and also show a comparison of food consumption among two different nations in the same year.
Overall, it is conspicuous that a large amount of processed food was consumed by the world’s population compared to India and China. However, more in both these nations in a given period, nuts and seeds are eaten by more in both these nations.
First, utilisation of animal food was essentially worldwide (27%) and in India(26%). At the same time, China accounted for less than 20 per cent. The percentage of the average consumption of raw material like vegetables and fruits was almost third in China. On the other hand, these raw materials only contribute 23% of the total diet of Indians and 29 % of the world’s population.
People in this world are 41% processed food that was highest consumed food in 2008 compared to both the given nations. India used 39%. Processed food whereas Chinese people ate 5% less than India. Besides this, nuts and seeds ate by the world was just 4% (lowest among all the types) on the other hand, Indians ate almost 11 percent, but chineses consumed 19 %…
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural chart term Original: utilisation of food Suggested revision: food consumption Why it matters: Food consumption is the natural term for the proportions shown.
- 2. Use between for two Original: among two different nations Suggested revision: between two countries Why it matters: Between is required when comparing two countries.
- 3. Correct global animal share Original: was essentially worldwide (27%) Suggested revision: was similar worldwide (26%) Why it matters: The world chart gives animal food as 26%, and similar accurately describes its relation to India.
- 4. Correct India figure Original: India(26%) Suggested revision: India (27%) Why it matters: Animal food accounts for 27% in the India chart.
- 5. Signal contrast clearly Original: At the same time Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The Chinese share is lower, so an explicit contrast marker fits the relationship.
- 6. Report exact China figure Original: less than 20 per cent Suggested revision: 15% Why it matters: The chart supplies the exact animal-food proportion for China.
- 7. Name food category Original: raw material like vegetables and fruits Suggested revision: vegetables and fruit Why it matters: Raw material is inaccurate and unnatural for this food category.
- 8. Add fraction determiner Original: almost third Suggested revision: almost one-third Why it matters: The fraction requires one and a hyphen in this construction.
- 9. Use category name Original: these raw materials Suggested revision: vegetables and fruit Why it matters: Repeating the category is clearer and avoids the inaccurate term raw materials.
- 10. Use past reporting verb Original: only contribute Suggested revision: accounted for Why it matters: The response describes 2008 data, so the past-tense reporting phrase is required.
- 11. Use neutral data wording Original: of the total diet of Indians Suggested revision: of food consumption in India Why it matters: This phrasing reports the national proportion directly and objectively.
- 12. Correct percentage reference Original: 29 % of the world’s population Suggested revision: 29% of global food consumption Why it matters: The percentage represents a share of food consumption, not a share of the population.
Suggested Rewrites
- utilisation of food food consumption
- among two different nations between two countries
- was essentially worldwide (27%) was similar worldwide (26%)
- India(26%) India (27%)
- At the same time By contrast
- less than 20 per cent 15%
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response selects a broad range of relevant figures and makes useful comparisons across the world, China, and India, so the visual content is largely covered accurately. Its main limitation is frequent loss of grammatical control, especially in the overview and final paragraph, where fragments and malformed clauses reduce clarity. Prioritise complete subject-verb structures and proofread every comparative sentence while retaining the accurate data selection.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides an overview and covers nearly all categories with largely accurate figures, though the world and India animal-food values are reversed by one point.
Check every label and percentage against the charts and state the two main overall contrasts in complete, unambiguous sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from an overview to comparisons by food category, but broken sentences and awkward linking disrupt the final paragraph.
Organise the details into complete comparison sentences and avoid splitting a clause after a percentage, as in 'India used 39%. Processed food'.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations and word forms such as 'people are 41% processed food' reduce precision.
Use controlled data-reporting phrases such as 'processed food accounted for 41%' and 'Chinese consumers' throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex sentences are accurate, but frequent fragments, agreement problems, and malformed passive structures cause noticeable difficulty for the reader.
Build each comparison around a clear subject and finite verb, then proofread plurals, agreement, and passive forms before submitting.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to China and India.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.