You are looking for a full-time job, and recently you saw a job opening in an advertisement. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like to do and say what experience and skills you have
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to apply for the assistant manager post in your Hotel - The Adventure Inn, that you have advertised in a local newspaper recently. I would really appreciate it if you could spare some of your precious time to further discuss my candidacy in a formal interview. I would like to work as an assistant manager that would enable me to work closely with the hotel staff and with the management. This way, I would be able to best serve my position on the one hand and learn valuable experience on the other hand. I have completed my graduation from City University in 2023 and my major was Tourism and Hospitality. Afterwards, I have worked for two four-star hotels and my current job as an assistant manager at the Gilbert hotel makes me a suitable candidate for the post. I do not see enough career growth opportunity with my current employer and that's why would like to switch my job. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Should you need any further details, please do not hesitate to call me. Yours sincerely, Paul Jenkins
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Capitalisation Original: in your Hotel - The Adventure Inn Suggested revision: at your hotel, The Adventure Inn Why it matters: Use lower-case “hotel” and a comma before the hotel name.
- 2. Relative clause Original: that you have advertised Suggested revision: which you advertised Why it matters: Use “which” for the advertised post and past simple for the recent advertisement.
- 3. Professional tone Original: precious time Suggested revision: time Why it matters: “Precious time” sounds overly flattering in a job application.
- 4. Natural interview phrase Original: further discuss my candidacy Suggested revision: discuss my application further Why it matters: This is clearer and more standard in a cover letter.
- 5. Clause reference Original: work as an assistant manager that would enable me Suggested revision: work as an assistant manager, a role that would enable me Why it matters: The role, not the person, enables the work described.
- 6. Unnatural phrase Original: best serve my position Suggested revision: perform the role effectively Why it matters: This is more natural and professional.
- 7. Experience collocation Original: learn valuable experience Suggested revision: gain valuable experience Why it matters: “Gain experience” is the correct collocation.
- 8. Education phrase Original: completed my graduation Suggested revision: graduated Why it matters: Use “graduated from” rather than “completed my graduation from”.
- 9. Degree subject Original: my major was Tourism and Hospitality Suggested revision: I majored in Tourism and Hospitality Why it matters: This is the natural phrase for a university major.
- 10. Present perfect Original: Afterwards, I have worked Suggested revision: Since then, I have worked Why it matters: “Since then” fits the present perfect better.
- 11. Proper noun Original: the Gilbert hotel Suggested revision: the Gilbert Hotel Why it matters: Capitalize “Hotel” as part of a proper name.
- 12. Add skills Original: makes me a suitable candidate Suggested revision: because I have experience in staff supervision, guest relations, and daily operations Why it matters: The prompt asks for skills, and this makes them explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- in your Hotel - The Adventure Inn at your hotel, The Adventure Inn
- that you have advertised which you advertised
- precious time time
- further discuss my candidacy discuss my application further
- work as an assistant manager that would enable me work as an assistant manager, a role that would enable me
- best serve my position perform the role effectively
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter applies for the job, identifies the assistant manager role, and gives education and experience. However, the introduction is brief and the skills bullet is underdeveloped because the writer lists experience more than specific skills.
Add two or three concrete skills, such as staff supervision, guest relations, scheduling, or complaint handling.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter has a clear progression from application to desired role, qualifications, reason for changing jobs, and closing. It is one block and some sentences are long or loosely connected.
Use separate paragraphs for application purpose, desired role, experience and skills, and interview request.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary fits a job application, with useful words such as “candidacy”, “Tourism and Hospitality”, and “suitable candidate”. Some phrases are unnatural or inflated, such as “precious time” and “learn valuable experience”.
Use precise professional language and avoid overly flattering phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response is understandable and uses some complex sentences, but accuracy is affected by relative clause errors, missing subjects, article problems, and tense choices.
Check clauses after job titles and make sure each sentence has a clear subject, especially in “that’s why would like”.