You are a student at a language school in New Zealand studying Business English. Part of the course is a summer work placement program. Unfortunately, you have just learned from the school that this program has now been canceled. Write a letter to the School Principal. In your letter: - state your reason for writing - describe the problem and your concerns - explain what you would like the Principal to do.
Sample Response
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to express my grave concern over the closure of the summer placement program which is one of the reasons to join your school.
I, Karamjeet Kaur, have been studying Business English in your school. A huge amount of money has been paid by me for that course. So it has become essential for me to know whether the course has been temporarily closed for a couple of months or has it no longer been a part of Business English. Moreover, why it had not been intimated to me at the admission time.
Now, I am more worried about my career. I would be free for the next six months which otherwise would have been used by me in getting hands-on experience in a reputed company as it was told me. Besides, the time and the money that I had spent seem to me in vain.
I would like to receive a partial refund for the loss that has been caused by your decision. I hope you would pay attention to this matter by considering the above-mentioned reasons.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours Sincerely,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Temper the wording Original: grave Suggested revision: serious Why it matters: This wording expresses concern firmly while maintaining an appropriately measured formal tone.
- 2. Name the cancellation Original: closure Suggested revision: cancellation Why it matters: The task states that the placement programme was cancelled, so this term is more precise.
- 3. Use past reference Original: one of the reasons to join Suggested revision: one of the reasons I joined Why it matters: The decision to join the school happened in the past and needs an explicit subject.
- 4. Use natural preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: English normally uses “at” when referring to enrolment or study at an institution.
- 5. Avoid unclear comparison Original: more worried Suggested revision: particularly concerned Why it matters: “More” lacks a clear comparison, whereas this phrase states the degree of concern directly.
- 6. Use future consequence Original: would be free Suggested revision: will now be free Why it matters: The writer is describing the expected consequence over the coming six months.
- 7. Fix clause structure Original: which otherwise would have been used by me in getting Suggested revision: which I would otherwise have spent gaining Why it matters: The active structure correctly links the six-month period to the writer’s intended activity.
- 8. Correct passive form Original: as it was told me Suggested revision: as I was told Why it matters: The recipient of the information must be the subject of this passive construction.
- 9. Show the consequence Original: Besides Suggested revision: As a result Why it matters: This connector accurately signals that the wasted time and money result from the cancellation.
- 10. Use present perfect Original: had Suggested revision: have Why it matters: The spending has a direct present consequence, so the present perfect is appropriate.
- 11. Complete the construction Original: seem to me in vain Suggested revision: seem to have been wasted Why it matters: The revised perfect-infinitive construction expresses the perceived past waste grammatically.
- 12. Clarify compensation reason Original: for the loss that has been caused by your decision Suggested revision: to compensate for the disruption caused by your decision Why it matters: This revision states more naturally why the writer is requesting a refund.
Suggested Rewrites
- grave serious
- closure cancellation
- one of the reasons to join one of the reasons I joined
- in at
- more worried particularly concerned
- would be free will now be free
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter has a clear formal purpose, covers the cancellation, its consequences, and the requested refund, and progresses logically. Its main limitation is recurring grammatical awkwardness, especially in indirect questions, passive constructions, and tense choices, which sometimes makes otherwise relevant points sound unnatural. The highest priority is to recast these sentences in direct, controlled structures while retaining the specific explanation of the financial and career impact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are addressed, and the concerns and requested partial refund are relevant and adequately developed.
State more precisely whether you want the placement restored, an alternative placement arranged, or a refund, and give the principal a clear response deadline.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is logically sequenced into purpose, background, consequences, and requested action, with generally effective paragraphing and linking.
Use fewer mechanical linking expressions such as 'Moreover' and 'Besides' and make the progression between the course change and its consequences more natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary shows sufficient range for a formal complaint, including expressions such as 'hands-on experience' and 'partial refund', though several collocations are awkward.
Prefer natural combinations such as 'one of my reasons for joining', 'informed at the time of admission', and 'the time and money will be wasted'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the message clearly, but recurring errors in question structure, tense, articles, and passive phrasing reduce accuracy.
Practise embedding questions with statement word order and simplify heavy passives, for example 'Please tell me whether the programme is temporarily suspended or permanently cancelled'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are a student at a language school in New Zealand studying Business English. Part of the course is a summer work placement program. Unfortunately, you have just learned from the school that this program has now been canceled. Write a letter to the School Principal. In your letter:
- state your reason for writing
- describe the problem and your concerns
- explain what you would like the Principal to do.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.