You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - say why he/she would not enjoy going to college - explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her - suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

Same question Compare 2 different answers

Sample Response

Dear David, I've received your letter, and I'm so glad that you all are doing fine. Also, I thank you for taking me into confidence in order to consult about a decision as important as either getting a job or going to a college. While I consider both propositions to be very crucial for personal and professional growth, I think that timing and personal circumstances are also important when taking such an important decision. And, knowing you personally for quite some time, I don’t think that timing and circumstances are exactly on your side as far as the issue of going to a college is concerned. In fact, I know, how you don’t like doing so much homework and love to explore new places and opportunities. So, I'd suggest that you should gain some job experience before you start college. You should get a job as a front desk agent at a hotel because I know you have an outgoing personality, and you like to meet and talk to different kinds of people. After all, a hotel is a place which is visited by all kinds of new people almost every day. I wish you the very best of luck. Warm wishes, Antony

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Use a direct transition Original: Also, I thank you Suggested revision: Thank you Why it matters: The additional linker is unnecessary at the start of this expression of thanks.
  • 2. Correct the expression Original: for taking me into confidence in order to consult about Suggested revision: for confiding in me about Why it matters: Confide in someone is the natural expression for seeking trusted personal advice.
  • 3. Fix comparison structure Original: a decision as important as either getting a job or going to a college Suggested revision: the important decision of whether to get a job or go to college Why it matters: Whether...or correctly presents the two alternatives being considered.
  • 4. Use suitable wording Original: propositions Suggested revision: options Why it matters: Options is the natural term for two possible personal choices.
  • 5. Remove redundancy Original: very crucial Suggested revision: crucial Why it matters: Crucial already means extremely important, so very is redundant.
  • 6. Correct the collocation Original: taking Suggested revision: making Why it matters: English uses make a decision rather than take a decision in this context.
  • 7. Fix the opening link Original: And, knowing you personally Suggested revision: Given that I know you personally Why it matters: The revision removes the faulty initial conjunction and supplies a complete dependent clause.
  • 8. Use concise wording Original: for quite some time Suggested revision: for a long time Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the established friendship naturally.
  • 9. Correct the expression Original: timing and circumstances are exactly on your side Suggested revision: the current circumstances are right for you Why it matters: On your side is not natural for judging whether circumstances favour attending college.
  • 10. Remove wordiness Original: as far as the issue of going to a college is concerned Suggested revision: for going to college Why it matters: The concise phrase preserves the intended limitation of the advice.
  • 11. Fix clause structure Original: I know, how Suggested revision: I know that Why it matters: No comma is needed, and that correctly introduces the stated fact.
  • 12. Use precise wording Original: doing so much homework Suggested revision: handling a heavy homework load Why it matters: The revision describes the aspect of college the friend would dislike more precisely.

Suggested Rewrites

  • Also, I thank you Thank you
  • for taking me into confidence in order to consult about for confiding in me about
  • a decision as important as either getting a job or going to a college the important decision of whether to get a job or go to college
  • propositions options
  • very crucial crucial
  • taking making
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The letter gives friendly, personalised advice and links a hotel front-desk role sensibly to the recipient’s outgoing personality and interest in meeting people. Its main limitation is uneven bullet coverage: the college objection relies mostly on disliking homework, and only one job type is suggested despite the prompt asking for types. Prioritise adding another concrete reason against college and two or three suitable job alternatives with brief justifications.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

6.5
Scoring rule

The central recommendation is clear and personally relevant, but reasons against college and the range of suitable jobs are only partly developed.

Next step

Explain one further college-related mismatch and suggest additional customer-facing or travel-related roles suited to the friend.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The letter moves from general advice to the college concern and job recommendation, though the extended opening delays the specific response.

Next step

State the recommendation early, then use one paragraph for college and another for suitable employment options.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is reasonably varied and suitable for advice, but several expressions are overly formal or unnatural for a close friend.

Next step

Use natural phrases such as ‘thanks for asking my advice’, ‘not the right time’, ‘gain work experience’, and ‘people-facing role’.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

Meaning remains clear, but punctuation, negative-clause structure, article use, and the pattern after ‘suggest’ contain noticeable errors.

Next step

Use ‘I know you do not enjoy homework’ and ‘I suggest gaining work experience’ without unnecessary commas or repeated modal verbs.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:

- say why he/she would not enjoy going to college

- explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her

- suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.