The parents of your Australian friend Chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for him/her. Write a letter to Chris’s parents. In your letter: - say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party - explain why you won’t be able to attend the party - give details of a plan to see Chris at a different time
Sample Response
Dear Mr and Mrs Patrick,
I am so glad to hear that you are going to have a surprise birthday party for Chris, which I believe he will enjoy so much. But, as much as I would love to surprise my good friend, the problem is that I will not be able to attend the party, next week, because I will remain very busy at that time.
Next week, I will need to complete the quarterly financial audit works of my company to come clean with the government tax authority. These audit works can be so complicated and painful at times that we even have to work very late at night to get the job done.
Of course, whether I attend his surprise party or not, I am pretty sure that Chris will fully enjoy the occasion because he will be surrounded by many of his well-wishers to cheer him up. Not only that but also Chris has such a cheerful personality that he never lets a good occasion pass by without enjoying it! And that is exactly why I have already made a plan to see him at a horse racing competition on the Sapphire coast, next month so that we can both enjoy some time together!
Yours sincerely,
Glenn Moore
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove extra commas Original: party, next week, Suggested revision: party next week Why it matters: The essential time phrase should not be separated from the clause by commas.
- 2. Use natural wording Original: remain Suggested revision: be Why it matters: "Be very busy" is the natural expression for the writer's expected workload.
- 3. Use uncountable work Original: works Suggested revision: work Why it matters: "Work" is uncountable when referring collectively to audit duties.
- 4. Correct the collocation Original: come clean with Suggested revision: comply with Why it matters: "Come clean with" means confess, whereas the intended meaning is meeting official requirements.
- 5. Fix number agreement Original: These audit works Suggested revision: This audit work Why it matters: The uncountable noun "work" takes the singular determiner "this".
- 6. Choose precise wording Original: painful Suggested revision: demanding Why it matters: "Demanding" more precisely describes difficult professional work.
- 7. Improve the collocation Original: fully Suggested revision: thoroughly Why it matters: "Thoroughly enjoy" is the more natural collocation.
- 8. Reflect the stated plan Original: whether I attend his surprise party or not Suggested revision: although I cannot attend his surprise party Why it matters: The revised linker is consistent with the writer's definite statement that attendance is impossible.
- 9. Fix the connector Original: Not only that but also Chris Suggested revision: Moreover, Chris Why it matters: The original correlative structure is incomplete because it lacks a preceding "not only" element.
- 10. Capitalise the place Original: coast Suggested revision: Coast Why it matters: Both words in this proper place name should be capitalised.
- 11. Use polished wording Original: so glad to hear Suggested revision: delighted to hear Why it matters: "Delighted to hear" is concise and suitably warm for writing to the friend's parents.
- 12. Use a smoother transition Original: But Suggested revision: However Why it matters: "However" makes the contrast with the positive opening more controlled.
Suggested Rewrites
- party, next week, party next week
- remain be
- works work
- come clean with comply with
- These audit works This audit work
- painful demanding
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter addresses every part of the invitation directly, with a convincing reason for missing the party and a specific alternative plan, while maintaining an appropriately courteous tone. The main weakness is occasional unnatural or imprecise wording, particularly around the audit and tax authority, alongside some overextended sentences. Refining collocations and using cleaner sentence boundaries would make the otherwise fluent response more polished and natural.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully addressed with relevant explanation, a clear alternative arrangement, and a suitably courteous tone for the friend's parents.
Keep the explanation of the work commitment concise so the letter remains focused on the invitation and Chris.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through the response, and the paragraphs have clear functions, although the final paragraph becomes long and slightly overlinked.
Divide or streamline the final paragraph so the explanation and alternative plan each receive a clean focus.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of vocabulary for work, celebrations, and personal plans, but phrases such as "audit works" and "come clean with the government tax authority" are imprecise.
Use more natural professional collocations, such as "complete the quarterly audit" and "meet the tax-reporting deadline."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is handled with generally good control, though misplaced commas and the "Not only that but also" construction create occasional awkwardness.
Check comma placement around time expressions and revise correlative structures into complete, balanced clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
The parents of your Australian friend Chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for him/her. Write a letter to Chris’s parents. In your letter:
- say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party
- explain why you won’t be able to attend the party
- give details of a plan to see Chris at a different time
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.