The parents of your Australian friend Chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for him/her. Write a letter to Chris’s parents. In your letter: - say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party - explain why you won’t be able to attend the party - give details of a plan to see Chris at a different time
Sample Response
Dear Mr and Mrs Jones,
I am excited to hear that you will be arranging a surprise birthday party for Chris next month. I am honoured to be invited to this party that will give us a good reason to enjoy. However, I will be visiting my hometown at that time and can not make it to this party.
Chris will love this party, especially since his close university friends will be there to cheer him up. It will also be a fabulous occasion for him as he is stressed out a bit from a few deadlines in his new office. I am sure you will have many memorable events at his birthday party.
As much as I would like to be present at the party, I just can not miss an appointment to take my father to the doctor on the same day. The specialist doctor, to whom I will take my father, comes from a different state and is available only for three days. That is why I will travel to my hometown two days before Chir's birthday and return a day after his birthday party.
I would, however, meet him a week after his birthday and present him with a gift from my side. On that occasion, I hope to spend some time outdoors with him or even arrange a dinner party at my home.
Thank you once again for inviting me.
Yours sincerely,
Alfred Kinsey
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State the absence clearly Original: will be visiting my hometown at that time and can not make it to this party Suggested revision: will be in my hometown then and will be unable to attend the party Why it matters: The revision expresses the scheduling conflict clearly and naturally.
- 2. Use direct wording Original: I just can not miss an appointment Suggested revision: I must attend an appointment Why it matters: The direct phrasing clearly explains the unavoidable commitment.
- 3. Choose the right noun Original: events Suggested revision: moments Why it matters: A party contains memorable moments rather than multiple events.
- 4. Correct the name Original: Chir's Suggested revision: Chris's Why it matters: The friend's name is misspelled here.
- 5. Use future tense Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: 'Will' expresses the definite future plan requested in the task.
- 6. Remove awkward phrasing Original: present him with a gift from my side Suggested revision: give him a gift Why it matters: This is the natural and concise way to express the intended action.
- 7. Use direct tense Original: will be arranging Suggested revision: are arranging Why it matters: The present continuous states the confirmed party arrangement more directly.
- 8. Clarify the relationship Original: close university friends Suggested revision: close friends from university Why it matters: This phrasing clearly identifies the friends as people Chris knows from university.
- 9. Match the celebration Original: cheer him up Suggested revision: celebrate with him Why it matters: The revision fits a birthday gathering without implying that Chris is unhappy.
- 10. Use concise wording Original: be present at the party Suggested revision: attend the party Why it matters: The single verb is clearer and more concise in this context.
- 11. Identify the day Original: on the same day Suggested revision: on the day of the party Why it matters: Naming the relevant event makes the scheduling conflict explicit.
- 12. Use concise linking Original: That is why Suggested revision: Therefore Why it matters: The concise transition links the medical appointment to the travel plan.
Suggested Rewrites
- will be visiting my hometown at that time and can not make it to this party will be in my hometown then and will be unable to attend the party
- I just can not miss an appointment I must attend an appointment
- events moments
- Chir's Chris's
- would will
- present him with a gift from my side give him a gift
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its complete, well-developed coverage of every bullet point, supported by clear paragraphing and an appropriately warm yet respectful tone. The main weakness is occasional imprecise or unnatural wording, together with a few minor slips, although these do not impede communication. The highest-priority improvement is to replace awkward expressions with more natural phrasing and proofread names and possessives carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter fully explains why Chris will enjoy the party, gives a convincing reason for the absence, and provides a detailed alternative plan.
Refine the opening so the reason for being pleased about the invitation is expressed more naturally and directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly through the three required points.
Remove the slightly redundant contrast in I would, however, meet him so the final plan connects more naturally.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic-appropriate vocabulary, but phrases such as a good reason to enjoy and a gift from my side are imprecise.
Choose more idiomatic expressions, for example a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and give him a present.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only minor slips and occasional awkward construction.
Proofread small errors such as Chir's and streamline the relative clause about taking the father to the specialist.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
The parents of your Australian friend Chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for him/her. Write a letter to Chris’s parents. In your letter:
- say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party
- explain why you won’t be able to attend the party
- give details of a plan to see Chris at a different time
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.