You eat in your college cafeteria everyday lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: - explain what you like about the cafeteria - say what is wrong with it - suggest how it could be improved

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6.5)

Sample Response

1

Dear EditorDear Ms Margaret, I have decided to write this letter to inform you of a few personal ideas that I have about our college cafeteria. As a regular customer, I would like to take the opportunity to express my gratitude to the people who run the cafeteriapeople behind this cafe and I also believe some improvements would make it even more attractive. I hope you will publishI am hoping that you would publish my ideas in your college magazine. I personally feel that our college cafeteria has a great environment and offers delicious and healthy food. I appreciate the hard work of all the chefs and the management teamall the chefs and management for their effortsattempt to serve meals to the students who are sometimes fussy and hard to please. The management is, in fact,The management is in fact, doing an excellent job. However, many students and I feel that the food served in the cafeteria is expensive. Our canteen charges $15-$20 for lunch and this is considerably higher. A few other college canteens in our city chargecharges less than that. It appears that students will soon feel compelled to eat off campusmake an inevitable choice to eat outside the campus due to the high price. As an individual who would love to continue eating fantastic food at our central eatery, I would like to suggest you publish an article about this issue. I hope this will help the canteen management become aware of how we think about their food pricesprice. If you have any further questions about this, please let me know. Yours faithfully, Kay Lim

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The letter has a clear formal purpose and gives specific, relevant praise and a well-supported complaint about prices. Its main weakness is that the requested improvement is only implied: asking the magazine to publish an article does not clearly tell the cafeteria what change to make, while the lack of paragraphing reduces readability. State a direct recommendation such as lowering prices or introducing student meal options, and organise each bullet point in its own paragraph.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

6.0
Scoring rule

The purpose and first two bullet points are clear and developed, but the proposed cafeteria improvement remains indirect and underdeveloped.

Next step

Recommend a concrete change to the cafeteria itself, such as lower prices, student discounts, or cheaper meal options.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

Ideas follow a logical sequence from praise to complaint and action, but presenting the entire letter as one paragraph weakens organisation.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for the purpose, positive features, price problem, proposed solution, and closing request.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

The letter uses a reasonably varied formal vocabulary, though several phrases such as inevitable choice and food price are awkward or imprecise.

Next step

Prefer direct natural expressions such as choose to eat elsewhere, prices are too high, and affordable meal options.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

A range of complex structures is generally controlled, but agreement and construction errors recur in phrases such as canteens charges and suggest you publish.

Next step

Check subject-verb agreement and use complete formal patterns such as I suggest that you publish or I would like you to publish.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You eat in your college cafeteria everyday lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter:

- explain what you like about the cafeteria

- say what is wrong with it

- suggest how it could be improved

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.