You applied for a college course and were accepted, but you cannot join the course. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter: - say which course you applied for - explain why you cannot join the course - ask about the possibility of taking the course in the future
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am excited to be accepted into the "Advertising and Public Relations" course at your college in the summer semester. However, I regret to inform you that I will not be able to join the course as I was denied a visa from the embassy. Last March, I applied for a full-time four-year Bachelor of Arts course in “Advertising and Public Relations” and got the acceptance letter on 12th April. I initially planned to enrol in the course from the beginning of June, but unfortunately, my visa application with the UK embassy was rejected. They are yet to send me details for the refusal, but I thought I should inform you without delay as someone else should get the chance. I guess I will have to wait for the next semester to start the course. I would like to request you to consider me for the next semester. In case this is not possible, I would like to know the procedure to apply again to the same course. I am looking forward to hearing from you at your convenience. Yours faithfully, Rohit Kumar
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct visa collocation Original: from Suggested revision: by Why it matters: Use “by” to identify the institution that denied the visa.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: got Suggested revision: received Why it matters: “Received” is more appropriate than “got” in a formal letter.
- 3. Correct time preposition Original: from Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Use “at” for the planned point when the course would begin.
- 4. Correct application phrase Original: with Suggested revision: to Why it matters: An application is submitted “to” an institution rather than “with” it here.
- 5. Clarify the purpose Original: as someone else should get the chance Suggested revision: so that the place can be offered to another applicant Why it matters: This wording states more precisely why the college should be informed promptly.
- 6. Keep a formal tone Original: I guess I will have to wait Suggested revision: I understand that I may have to wait Why it matters: This alternative sounds more professional and avoids the conversational “I guess.”
- 7. Use the right condition Original: In case this is not possible Suggested revision: If this is not possible Why it matters: “If” correctly introduces the condition that the requested arrangement may be unavailable.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: I am excited to be accepted into the "Advertising and Public Relations" course at your college in the summer semester. Suggested revision: I am writing regarding my acceptance into the "Advertising and Public Relations" course for the summer semester. Why it matters: This version establishes the letter’s purpose immediately in a suitably formal tone.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: They are yet to send me details for the refusal Suggested revision: The embassy has yet to send me the reasons for its decision Why it matters: This revision removes the vague pronoun and corrects the unnatural phrase “details for the refusal.”
- 10. Separate letter sections Suggested revision: Divide the letter into short paragraphs covering the acceptance, the visa problem, and the request for a future place. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would make the three required points easier for the principal to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- from by
- got received
- from at
- with to
- as someone else should get the chance so that the place can be offered to another applicant
- I guess I will have to wait I understand that I may have to wait
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter communicates its purpose immediately, covers the course, visa refusal, and future-enrolment request in relevant detail, and uses generally accurate, suitably formal language. Its main weakness is that the entire response is presented as one paragraph, which obscures the otherwise clear progression; dividing the background, explanation, and request into distinct paragraphs should be the highest priority.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are fully addressed, and the supporting details are relevant, with only a slight lapse into informality in 'I guess'.
Maintain a consistently formal register when discussing the possibility of joining a later semester.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a logical sequence and linking is clear, but the single-block presentation does not provide appropriate paragraphing.
Separate the course details, reason for withdrawal, and future request into clearly defined paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective expressions such as 'denied a visa' and 'without delay', though a few collocations are less natural.
Refine phrases such as 'details for the refusal' to more natural alternatives such as 'reasons for the refusal'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few grammatical lapses do not impede meaning.
Polish article use and prepositional choices in phrases such as 'got the acceptance letter' and 'application with the UK embassy'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You applied for a college course and were accepted, but you cannot join the course. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter:
- say which course you applied for
- explain why you cannot join the course
- ask about the possibility of taking the course in the future
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.