You share a room in a college with another student. You find it difficult to study and work there because your roommate has friends and parties in the room and sometimes borrows your things without asking. Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer. In your letter: - explain the problems with your current room - ask for a new room next term - say that you would prefer a single room and explain why
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to request you to allow me to move into another room, preferably to a single room, from next term as I find my current accommodation arrangement quite inconvenient. I enrolled in the B. Tech course in your college last January and currently sharing my room, 308, with a fellow mate who is also pursuing the same course. My roommate brings his friends almost every day and holds frequent parties. It not only hinders my studies but also breaches my privacy. He often borrows my things without asking and he even lost a valuable item last month. His activities are not friendly and I find it hard to concentrate on my studies due to his irrational behaviours. My father, despite his financial crunch, did arrange for my higher studies in this reputed college. It is my moral responsibility not to lose sight of the dreams which have been conceived in the eyes of my parents. The latest incident wherein he borrowed my laptop without my permission forced me to bring these issues to your attention. In view of all these undesirable and uncomfortable situations, I once again humbly request you to allow me a new room next term, preferably a single room. Yours faithfully, Kim Neeraj
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the request pattern Original: writing to request you to allow me Suggested revision: writing to ask for permission Why it matters: “Ask for permission to move” is the correct and concise request structure.
- 2. Remove the extra preposition Original: preferably to a single room Suggested revision: preferably a single room Why it matters: “Preferably” can directly modify the requested room type here.
- 3. Use natural timing Original: from Suggested revision: starting Why it matters: “Starting next term” states the intended time more naturally.
- 4. Correct the preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Use “at” when referring to enrolment at an educational institution.
- 5. Add the auxiliary verb Original: and currently sharing Suggested revision: and am currently sharing Why it matters: The present continuous form requires the auxiliary verb “am.”
- 6. Avoid redundant wording Original: a fellow mate Suggested revision: another student Why it matters: “Fellow mate” is redundant and does not identify the roommate as clearly.
- 7. Use formal wording Original: crunch Suggested revision: difficulties Why it matters: “Financial difficulties” is more appropriate for a formal letter.
- 8. Use clearer wording Original: wherein Suggested revision: in which Why it matters: “In which” is clearer and less legalistic in this context.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: accommodation Suggested revision: living Why it matters: “Living arrangement” is the more natural phrase for a shared room situation.
- 10. State the impact precisely Original: quite inconvenient Suggested revision: highly disruptive Why it matters: “Disruptive” describes the effect on studying more precisely than “inconvenient.”
- 11. Remove unnecessary commas Original: room, 308, Suggested revision: room 308 Why it matters: The room number directly identifies the room and should not be enclosed by commas.
- 12. Use natural wording Original: pursuing Suggested revision: taking Why it matters: “Taking a course” is more natural in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- writing to request you to allow me writing to ask for permission
- preferably to a single room preferably a single room
- from starting
- in at
- and currently sharing and am currently sharing
- a fellow mate another student
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly explains the roommate problems, maintains a suitably formal tone, and makes the requested move and preference for a single room unmistakable. Its main limitation is that the reason for needing a single room is mostly implied, while the discussion of family sacrifice distracts from the practical request. Prioritise a direct explanation that a single room would provide quiet, privacy, and control over belongings.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The problems and request for a new room are well developed, but the specific reasons for preferring a single room remain implicit.
Explicitly explain how a single room would ensure uninterrupted study, privacy, and security for personal possessions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically from the request to supporting problems and a concluding appeal, though one personal digression weakens focus.
Remove the extended reference to parental sacrifice and organise the problems and requested solution in separate paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the task, but several formal expressions and collocations sound unnatural or overstated.
Use precise phrases such as "roommate," "disruptive behaviour," and "financial difficulty" instead of awkward alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally controlled, with a small number of noticeable grammatical lapses.
Add the missing auxiliary in "I am currently sharing" and check pronoun reference and sentence construction throughout.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You share a room in a college with another student. You find it difficult to study and work there because your roommate has friends and parties in the room and sometimes borrows your things without asking. Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer. In your letter:
- explain the problems with your current room
- ask for a new room next term
- say that you would prefer a single room and explain why
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.