You share a room in a college with another student. You find it difficult to study and work there because your roommate has friends and parties in the room and sometimes borrows your things without asking. Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer. In your letter: - explain the problems with your current room - ask for a new room next term - say that you would prefer a single room and explain why
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction and dilemmas with the current accommodation arrangement I have at my college. My roommate's absurd activities are negatively affecting my studies and I would like to move into a single room next term which completely depends on your kind permission. Although my current room is nice to live in with proper amenities, I am not satisfied with the irrational attitude and carelessness of my housemate. He has an antipathy towards cleaning the room. Moreover, he has a big social circle and invites friends to the room on a regular basis. They listen to loud music, sometimes hold parties and play computer games which create a commotion that disturbs me and interrupts my studies. Furthermore, he has a tendency to use my personal belongings without my permission. In the last few months, I have lost some of my valuables from the room and I am not sure who should I blame! I would like to live in a single room so that I can have freedom of work and study. My final exam is approaching and I want to prepare for it without any interference. I hope you would be kind enough to understand my issues related to my roommate and would arrange a new room next semester. I hope to hear a positive response from you soon. Yours faithfully, Fahad Sultan
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State the concern naturally Original: dissatisfaction and dilemmas with Suggested revision: concerns about Why it matters: Concerns about is a natural and concise way to introduce the accommodation problems.
- 2. Use a measured tone Original: absurd activities Suggested revision: disruptive behaviour Why it matters: This describes the problem clearly without sounding unnecessarily insulting in a formal complaint.
- 3. Fix the attachment Original: which completely depends on your kind permission Suggested revision: subject to your approval Why it matters: The original relative clause attaches awkwardly to next term rather than to the room request.
- 4. Avoid personal judgement Original: irrational attitude and carelessness Suggested revision: inconsiderate behaviour Why it matters: This keeps the complaint professional while still communicating the roommate's conduct.
- 5. Use direct wording Original: has an antipathy towards cleaning Suggested revision: is unwilling to help clean Why it matters: The revision expresses the same point clearly without an unnecessarily ornate phrase.
- 6. Fix indirect question order Original: who should I blame! Suggested revision: who I should blame. Why it matters: An embedded question requires statement word order, and a full stop suits the formal tone.
- 7. Use the correct pattern Original: of Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Freedom to followed by verbs is the natural grammatical pattern here.
- 8. Keep verbs parallel Original: and would arrange Suggested revision: and arrange Why it matters: Arrange should coordinate with understand after to in this sentence.
- 9. Organize the request Suggested revision: Separate the letter into paragraphs for the current problems, the single-room request and reasons, and the polite closing, placing the sign-off on a new line. Why it matters: The single continuous block obscures the progression through the three requested points.
Suggested Rewrites
- dissatisfaction and dilemmas with concerns about
- absurd activities disruptive behaviour
- which completely depends on your kind permission subject to your approval
- irrational attitude and carelessness inconsiderate behaviour
- has an antipathy towards cleaning is unwilling to help clean
- who should I blame! who I should blame.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter addresses all three requested points clearly and supports the request for a single room with relevant examples, including noise, parties, and unauthorized borrowing. Its main limitation is that several word choices sound excessively judgmental or unnatural for a formal request, while the single-block presentation weakens readability. The highest-priority improvement is to organize the complaint, request, and justification into distinct paragraphs and use more measured, idiomatic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The problems, request for next term, preference for a single room, and reasons for that preference are all clearly and substantially covered.
Maintain a more measured formal tone by describing the roommate’s behaviour objectively instead of labelling it “absurd” or “irrational.”
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through the problems and proposed solution, but presenting everything as one paragraph obscures the shifts between ideas.
Use separate paragraphs for the accommodation problems, the room-change request, and the reasons a single room is needed.
Lexical Resource
The writer shows a good range of vocabulary, but several ambitious expressions are awkward or overly forceful, including “dissatisfaction and dilemmas” and “antipathy towards cleaning.”
Choose natural, neutral formal phrases such as “concerns about my accommodation” and “is unwilling to help keep the room clean.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally controlled and meaning remains clear, with occasional errors in clause construction and indirect questions.
Review embedded question order and relative clauses, changing “who should I blame” to “whom I should blame” and simplifying the awkward permission clause.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You share a room in a college with another student. You find it difficult to study and work there because your roommate has friends and parties in the room and sometimes borrows your things without asking. Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer. In your letter:
- explain the problems with your current room
- ask for a new room next term
- say that you would prefer a single room and explain why
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.