As an international student in Sweden, you have an account with a local bank. The monthly bank transfer you receive from your parents has been delayed this month due to an error at your parents’ bank. Write a letter to your bank. In your letter: - introduce yourself - ask for a loan - say why you need the money - tell how you intend to pay back the money
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am an international student at the University of Gothenburg and holdmanage a checking account with your bank. My parents send me tuition fees and monthly expenses to your bank from Iran. Due to an error at the originating bank in Iran, I am have not received my September paymentunable to receive my payment in September. I therefore hopeNow I am hoping you would grant me a short-term loana small loan. My account number with your branch is 000215478544, and I receive money from my parents each month. They send the money from Iran Zamin Bank in Tehran and if you look at my statement you will notice that I receive around 20,00020 thousand Swedish kronor on averageSwedish Kronor on an average every month. This month, a mistake at the originating bankThis time a mistake from the originating bank, Iran Zamin Bankthe Iran Zamin Bank, caused the delaytrouble and my payment was withheld. However, I need the money to pay my rentmy house rent and my university exam fee. If I can not pay them on timepay those in time, I would be in serious financial difficultyin great trouble. I would, therefore, request you to grant me a short-term loan of 30,000 Swedish kronor30 thousand Swedish Kronor which I wouldwill repay within the next six months. I will receive the fundsfund from my parents and once the delayed payment is releasedwithheld payment is disbursed, I can start repaying. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear from you regarding this. Yours faithfully, Hassan Mustafizur
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter achieves its purpose convincingly by introducing the account holder, explaining the delayed transfer and urgent expenses, and setting out a specific loan and repayment plan. The main weakness is some repetition and several slightly unnatural collocations; the highest-priority improvement is to streamline the explanation of the banking error and choose more idiomatic financial wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All four bullet points are fully addressed with relevant details, a clear loan amount, a credible repayment plan, and an appropriately formal tone.
Add a precise requested disbursement date or repayment schedule to make the practical request even more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from identification to the problem, need, request, and repayment, though the transfer error is explained repetitively.
Consolidate the repeated account and bank-error details so each paragraph advances the request more efficiently.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and appropriate for a formal banking request, but several collocations are slightly unnatural or imprecise.
Use idiomatic phrases such as hold an account, on average, and receive the funds, while avoiding unnecessary repetition of bank and payment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good range of complex sentences with generally sound control, while a few pronoun, spacing, and clause-level errors remain.
Polish references such as pay them rather than pay those, write cannot consistently, and check coordination in longer sentences.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
As an international student in Sweden, you have an account with a local bank. The monthly bank transfer you receive from your parents has been delayed this month due to an error at your parents’ bank. Write a letter to your bank. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- ask for a loan
- say why you need the money
- tell how you intend to pay back the money
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.