You bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - Introduce yourself - Explain the situation - Say what action you would like the company to take
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
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Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writingwriting this to express my dissatisfaction with a Canon film camera that I purchased from your store located at ABC MallABC Mall, on December 06th 2022. Unfortunately, the camera is defectiveyour product has underperformed. I am quite disappointed because I was assured that it was the most recent model when I bought it. When I got home, however, I discovered that the camera’s lens was broken. When I first became aware of the problem, I returned the product to the store and contacted Mr John Smith from your company’s customer service department on December 9th 2022, who assured me that the camera would be repaired within three business days. However, after a week, I have receivedafter a week I have received no further communication from the store. To resolve this issue, I would like you to either repair the device immediately or provide a full refundeither repair the device or refund my entire purchase price. I hope this matter will be resolvedfixed as soon as possible. Yours faithfully,
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter is strongest in its clear formal purpose, specific chronology, and controlled sentence structures, which make the complaint easy to follow. Its main limitation is presentation: all information is compressed into one body paragraph, while a few phrases are broader than necessary. Divide the complaint, previous contact, and requested remedy into distinct paragraphs and make the requested resolution more precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are covered with relevant dates and details, and the formal tone is consistently suitable.
Add a little more detail about the inconvenience caused and state the preferred remedy before offering an alternative.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from purchase and fault to prior contact and the requested remedy, with cohesive links used accurately.
Use separate body paragraphs for the fault, the unsuccessful repair follow-up, and the resolution requested.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and suitably formal, with precise language for customer service and the requested refund.
Replace broad wording such as “underperformed” and “this matter will be fixed” with more exact product-and-service language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex structures is handled accurately, and punctuation generally supports clear reading.
Refine the few awkward time expressions and trim sentence openings that repeat “When” in close succession.