You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen, but it did not work properly. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter: - give details about the equipment you bought - explain what the problem is - say what you would like the shop to do
Sample Response
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to complain about a coffee machine that I purchased from your Shibuya branch on 12 July. The model number is CM-320, and I paid 24,000 yen for it. I have attached a copy of the receipt with this letter.
I followed the instructions in the manual carefully before using the machine for the first time. However, when I switched it on, it worked for about two minutes and then stopped. I tried it again the following morning, but the power light did not come on at all. I called your customer service line twice last week, and on both occasions I was told that someone would contact me. Two weeks have now passed, and I have received no reply.
I would like a full refund. If this is not possible, I would accept a replacement of the same model, provided that it can be delivered within a week. I have kept the original packaging, so returning the machine should not cause any difficulty.
I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Yours faithfully, Taro Yamada
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Refine salutation Original: Dear Sir/Madam, Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, Why it matters: Writing out the alternatives gives this formal salutation a more polished conventional form.
- 2. Tighten wording Original: that I purchased from your Shibuya branch Suggested revision: I purchased from your Shibuya branch Why it matters: Removing the relative pronoun makes the product detail more concise without changing its meaning.
- 3. Clarify attachment purpose Original: with this letter Suggested revision: for reference Why it matters: This phrase states more directly why the receipt has been attached.
- 4. Clarify pronoun Original: switched it on Suggested revision: switched the machine on Why it matters: Naming the machine removes even minor ambiguity about what was switched on.
- 5. Describe fault precisely Original: it worked for about two minutes and then stopped Suggested revision: it ran for about two minutes before shutting down Why it matters: The revision describes the machine's malfunction more precisely.
- 6. Use natural past form Original: did Suggested revision: would Why it matters: Would not come on naturally conveys a failed attempt to operate the machine.
- 7. Specify contact person Original: someone would contact me Suggested revision: a representative would contact me Why it matters: Representative is more precise and suitably formal in a complaint letter.
- 8. Clarify reference Original: If this is not possible Suggested revision: If a refund is not possible Why it matters: Repeating the requested remedy makes the conditional reference completely explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir/Madam, Dear Sir or Madam,
- that I purchased from your Shibuya branch I purchased from your Shibuya branch
- with this letter for reference
- switched it on switched the machine on
- it worked for about two minutes and then stopped it ran for about two minutes before shutting down
- did would
Why this response received Band 9.0
The letter is exceptionally clear, complete, and professionally controlled: it identifies the purchase precisely, explains the malfunction and failed follow-up in useful detail, and states practical remedies in an entirely appropriate formal tone. Its main limitation is only that an already excellent response could be even more concise in the customer-service history; the highest-priority refinement is to preserve this precision while trimming any detail that does not directly advance the complaint.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter fully achieves its purpose, covers every bullet point with specific relevant detail, and maintains an entirely appropriate formal tone.
Retain this complete coverage while keeping every supporting detail tightly connected to the requested remedy.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced effortlessly through focused paragraphs, and cohesive links guide the reader without drawing attention to themselves.
Continue using this natural progression while trimming any chronology that the complaint can communicate more briefly.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise, natural, and suitably formal throughout, with effective choices for the purchase, malfunction, contact history, and remedy.
Preserve this exact register and continue favouring specific service-related wording over more general expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used with consistently accurate grammar and punctuation.
Maintain this control while using the same structural variety in responses that require more complex explanations.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen, but it did not work properly. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter:
- give details about the equipment you bought
- explain what the problem is
- say what you would like the shop to do
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.