You recently joined a gym in a new neighbourhood and noticed that people do not wipe down the machines and leave dirty towels on benches in the changing rooms. Write to the gym manager. In your letter: - explain who you are - describe the problem exactly - make suggestions to improve the gym
Sample Response
Dear Mr Fuller, I am Neil Ryan, a lawyer by profession, have recently moved into this neighbourhood and joined your gym. So far, I have liked pretty much everything about your gym, including its large space and the state of the art exercising equipment. Besides, I also like the fact that the gym has some great safety measures in place to ensure enough safety and security for its users. However, when it comes to maintaining hygiene, the gym certainly could use some improvements. In fact, I have seen that most people, visiting your gym, do not bother to wipe down the machines after using them. Besides, some of them leave dirty towels often on the benches and the floor in the change rooms, which does not quite go well with the core message of promoting health and fitness by a place called “gym”. So, in view of this hygiene problem, I would like to suggest you provide a hygiene guideline for all the users of your gym while instructing your gym staff to be more proactive in keeping the gym and its equipment tidy and spotlessly clean. Thanks for your consideration. Yours sincerely, Neil Ryan
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix compound modifier Original: state of the art exercising equipment Suggested revision: state-of-the-art exercise equipment Why it matters: The compound adjective needs hyphens, and “exercise equipment” is the natural noun phrase.
- 2. Remove connector redundancy Original: Besides, I also like Suggested revision: I also like Why it matters: “Besides” and “also” perform the same linking function here.
- 3. Remove incorrect commas Original: most people, visiting your gym, Suggested revision: most people visiting your gym Why it matters: The defining phrase identifies which people are meant and should not be enclosed by commas.
- 4. Place adverb naturally Original: leave dirty towels often Suggested revision: often leave dirty towels Why it matters: A frequency adverb normally comes before the main verb.
- 5. Use precise contrast Original: does not quite go well with Suggested revision: conflicts with Why it matters: “Conflicts with” expresses the contradiction more directly and formally.
- 6. Fix awkward agent phrase Original: by a place called “gym” Suggested revision: associated with a gym Why it matters: The gym is associated with the message rather than acting as the agent that promotes it.
- 7. Use plural guidelines Original: a hygiene guideline Suggested revision: hygiene guidelines Why it matters: The proposed rules for all users are naturally expressed as plural guidelines.
- 8. Use parallel verbs Original: while instructing your gym staff Suggested revision: and instruct your gym staff Why it matters: “Provide” and “instruct” should be parallel after “suggest.”
- 9. Use formal wording Original: pretty much everything Suggested revision: almost everything Why it matters: “Almost everything” is more appropriate for a formal letter.
- 10. Describe layout precisely Original: large space Suggested revision: spacious layout Why it matters: “Spacious layout” describes this positive feature more naturally.
- 11. Use precise evaluation Original: some great safety measures Suggested revision: effective safety measures Why it matters: “Effective” is more precise and formal than the general adjective “great.”
- 12. Fix safety phrase Original: ensure enough safety and security for its users Suggested revision: ensure its users' safety and security Why it matters: The possessive construction avoids the unnatural phrase “enough safety.”
Suggested Rewrites
- state of the art exercising equipment state-of-the-art exercise equipment
- Besides, I also like I also like
- most people, visiting your gym, most people visiting your gym
- leave dirty towels often often leave dirty towels
- does not quite go well with conflicts with
- by a place called “gym” associated with a gym
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly identifies the new member, describes both hygiene problems precisely and offers practical action through user guidelines and more proactive staff. Its strongest feature is its direct, constructive tone, while its main weakness is that all ideas are compressed into one paragraph and the opening contains a grammatical break. Prioritise paragraphing the praise, complaint and solutions separately, then proofread sentence joins and repeated wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully addressed with specific observations and constructive suggestions in a suitably polite complaint.
Strengthen the proposed action further by asking for labelled cleaning stations, towel bins, or reminder notices beside the machines.
Coherence and Cohesion
The praise, hygiene concerns, and recommendations progress logically, but presenting the full letter as one paragraph weakens its organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, exact problems, and requested improvements.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of relevant language for facilities, hygiene, and management, though repetition and a few awkward collocations remain.
Reduce repetition in phrases such as “safety measures” and “enough safety,” and prefer “exercise equipment” to “exercising equipment.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally controlled, but the opening has a faulty sentence join and some comma placement is inaccurate.
Write “I am Neil Ryan, a lawyer who has recently moved” and avoid unnecessary commas around defining phrases such as “people visiting your gym.”
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently joined a gym in a new neighbourhood and noticed that people do not wipe down the machines and leave dirty towels on benches in the changing rooms. Write to the gym manager. In your letter:
- explain who you are
- describe the problem exactly
- make suggestions to improve the gym
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.