You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. Write to your friend. In your letter: - explain what you would like to do - describe the work or studies you have been doing for the past few years - ask for help contacting an appropriate institution
Sample Response
Dear Rachel,
Hope you are doing fine. I am sorry that I have not written to you for a long. I have been terribly busy over the last few months and I never seem to have a minute to myself! I am writing to notify you that I'd like to study fashion designing at a university in Canada next year and I hope you can give me some advice and information. I think I would prefer a Canadian college, specifically in Toronto, because I have an aunt who lives there and she is willing to host me at her house. I have recently finished school and got an overall 78% mark. I am willing to build my career in the fashion designing industry and I need to complete my bachelor degree for that. However, I really don't know which university to apply to and what are their requirements for the applicants are. I am hoping you can choose a university for me that offers an excellent fashion designing related course at a moderate cost. Could you send me some information about different colleges and the courses they offer related to my interest? I hope you can spare some time and don't mind doing this for me. I hope to hear from you soon. Warm wishes, George
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete time phrase Original: for a long Suggested revision: for a long time Why it matters: The duration phrase requires the noun 'time' in this context.
- 2. Use friendly wording Original: notify you Suggested revision: let you know Why it matters: This phrase sounds more natural in an informal letter to a friend.
- 3. Use course name Original: designing Suggested revision: design Why it matters: 'Fashion design' is the standard name of the subject.
- 4. Improve mark phrasing Original: got an overall 78% mark Suggested revision: received an overall mark of 78% Why it matters: This structure expresses the result more naturally and precisely.
- 5. Express career aim Original: I am willing to build Suggested revision: I want to build Why it matters: 'Want to' expresses a personal career goal more accurately than willingness.
- 6. Use possessive form Original: bachelor Suggested revision: bachelor's Why it matters: The qualification is conventionally written with the possessive form.
- 7. Fix embedded question Original: what are their requirements for the applicants are Suggested revision: what their requirements for applicants are Why it matters: An embedded question uses statement word order and only one finite verb structure.
- 8. Clarify requested help Original: choose a university for me Suggested revision: help me choose a university Why it matters: This wording makes the request to a friend more reasonable and collaborative.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: interest Suggested revision: interests Why it matters: The plural form is natural when referring generally to the writer's field preferences.
- 10. Separate the request Suggested revision: Divide the body into short paragraphs for the study plan, recent education, and request for help. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would make the three required points easier for the reader to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- for a long for a long time
- notify you let you know
- designing design
- got an overall 78% mark received an overall mark of 78%
- I am willing to build I want to build
- bachelor bachelor's
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter communicates its purpose clearly, maintains a friendly tone, and covers the requested course and request for assistance with relevant detail. Its main weakness is presentation: nearly all the content is placed in one long paragraph, while several awkward phrases and one malformed question reduce polish. Organise the letter into purposeful paragraphs and check sentence structures and collocations more carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three bullet points are addressed, although the account of recent studies is rather brief.
Develop the study background with one or two specific details about subjects, qualifications, or relevant experience.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a sensible sequence, but the body is presented as one dense paragraph with limited structural signposting.
Use separate paragraphs for the intended course, educational background, and request for help.
Lexical Resource
There is a sufficient range of vocabulary for education and applications, though several combinations such as "fashion designing" and "related to my interest" are awkward.
Use more natural collocations such as "fashion design," "bachelor's degree," and "courses that match my interests."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is generally controlled, but errors in articles, possessives, and question structure are noticeable.
Proofread complex clauses, especially the malformed phrase "what are their requirements for the applicants are."
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. Write to your friend. In your letter:
- explain what you would like to do
- describe the work or studies you have been doing for the past few years
- ask for help contacting an appropriate institution
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.