You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. Write to your friend. In your letter: - explain what you would like to do - describe the work or studies you have been doing for the past few years - ask for help contacting an appropriate institution
Sample Response
Dear Anna,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing to enquire some details about the Certified Internal Auditor (CIA) courses at a leading college in London. As you live there, I am hoping you would be able to guide me in choosing the best college for the course. As you know, I hail from a family where everyone is involved in the financial sector. Needless to say, I got my tertiary education from a business school, and at present, I am working as an Internal Auditor in a textile corporation, but I have been stuck with the same designation for more than 2 years. Therefore, in order to climb further up the corporate ladder, I would like to update my skills and knowledge, and the most plausible way to do that would be to get a foreign degree from a reputed college in the UK. Having spent a copious amount of hours researching the right institutions, I have narrowed down my options to just three colleges. I would like to ask your assistance in getting in touch with those colleges. Perhaps you could dispatch me their customised brochures or prospectuses since due to the highly complex nature of these programs, the information in the public domain is hard to find about these courses. I look forward to receiving your response. Warm wishes, Sameed
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct enquire pattern Original: enquire some details about Suggested revision: enquire about Why it matters: The verb ‘enquire’ takes ‘about’ directly in this construction.
- 2. Use friendly wording Original: hail Suggested revision: come Why it matters: This sounds more natural in a letter to a friend.
- 3. Show the relationship Original: Needless to say Suggested revision: As a result Why it matters: The replacement makes the connection between family background and education explicit.
- 4. Use natural study phrase Original: got my tertiary education from Suggested revision: completed my degree at Why it matters: This is a more precise way to describe the writer’s previous studies.
- 5. Use natural job wording Original: have been stuck with the same designation Suggested revision: have held the same position Why it matters: ‘Held the same position’ is idiomatic and less negative in tone.
- 6. Correct quantity phrase Original: a copious amount of hours Suggested revision: considerable time Why it matters: ‘Hours’ is countable, and ‘considerable time’ expresses the intended amount naturally.
- 7. Add required preposition Original: ask your assistance Suggested revision: ask for your assistance Why it matters: The verb ‘ask’ requires ‘for’ before the requested help.
- 8. Use friendly request verb Original: dispatch Suggested revision: send Why it matters: ‘Dispatch’ is unnecessarily formal for a request to a friend.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Therefore, in order to climb further up the corporate ladder, I would like to update my skills and knowledge, and the most plausible way to do that would be to get a foreign degree from a reputed college in the UK. Suggested revision: I would therefore like to improve my skills by completing a relevant qualification at a well-regarded UK college. Why it matters: The rewrite preserves the career purpose in a more natural and concise register for a friend.
- 10. Separate the three purposes Suggested revision: Divide the body into short paragraphs explaining the planned course, your recent work and studies, and the specific help you need. Why it matters: The single body paragraph makes the three required points less easy to locate.
Suggested Rewrites
- enquire some details about enquire about
- hail come
- Needless to say As a result
- got my tertiary education from completed my degree at
- have been stuck with the same designation have held the same position
- a copious amount of hours considerable time
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly explains the intended course, relevant education and employment, and the specific help requested, so its purpose is fully developed. Its main limitation is an overly formal, sometimes unnatural register for a friend, with expressions such as 'dispatch me' and 'copious amount of hours.' The priority is to keep the detailed content but use warmer, more natural language and separate the background from the request.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are well developed and the requested assistance is specific, but the highly formal register is not consistently appropriate for a friend.
Address Anna more naturally and ask in a friendly way whether she could contact the shortlisted colleges or obtain their prospectuses.
Coherence and Cohesion
The explanation moves logically from the course aim through professional background to the request, although the body lacks helpful paragraph divisions.
Separate the course goal, recent studies and work, and request for help into three concise body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a wide vocabulary, but some elaborate choices such as 'hail from,' 'plausible,' and 'dispatch me' sound unnatural in a personal letter.
Choose natural personal-letter wording such as 'I come from,' 'the best way,' and 'could you send me.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are frequently accurate and meaning remains clear, with occasional errors in prepositions, noun phrases, and combined linking structures.
Correct patterns such as 'enquire about,' 'ask for your assistance,' and avoid using 'since' together with 'due to' in one clause.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. Write to your friend. In your letter:
- explain what you would like to do
- describe the work or studies you have been doing for the past few years
- ask for help contacting an appropriate institution
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.