You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter: - give details of what was wrong - explain what you had to do to overcome the problem at the time - say what action you would like the manager to take
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently stayed at your hotel - Pan Pacific Perth, in room 324 for three nights. I am writing to inform you that the room heating was ineffectual and despite a great location and friendly staff, I have had a bad experience staying at your hotel. I am hoping you would repair the central heating system so that no guest suffers due to the extreme weather. I stayed at your hotel from 25th May till 27th May and had an excruciating experience as your heating system in my room did not work as expected. The temperature in the city was somewhat unexpected and fell below 7° Celcius during this period. When I found that the room temperature was not comfortable, I called the front desk executive and despite his promise, nothing was done.
Because of the extreme cold in the room, I had to wear socks and a knit hat, take an additional blanket and put on the electric stove all night. Consequently, I got very little sleep over the three nights. I think it would be a good idea to repair the central heating system and be prepared for unusual weather. A room heating system for each room along with the central heating system in the winter would certainly make the rooms more comfortable. Perhaps you would consider giving me a discount if I stay at your hotel next time. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Walker Luise
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use simple past Original: have recently stayed Suggested revision: recently stayed Why it matters: The completed stay at specified past dates calls for the simple past tense.
- 2. Fix the hotel name Original: at your hotel - Pan Pacific Perth, Suggested revision: at Pan Pacific Perth, Why it matters: Naming the hotel directly removes the awkward hyphenated apposition.
- 3. Use precise wording Original: room heating was ineffectual Suggested revision: heating in my room was ineffective Why it matters: “Ineffective” accurately describes equipment that failed to warm the room, while the revised phrase is more natural.
- 4. Make the request direct Original: I am hoping you would repair Suggested revision: I hope you will repair Why it matters: The present and future forms express a current request for action more naturally.
- 5. Choose proportionate wording Original: had an excruciating experience Suggested revision: had an extremely uncomfortable stay Why it matters: This phrase describes the cold and lost sleep precisely without overstating the experience.
- 6. Correct the spelling Original: Celcius Suggested revision: Celsius Why it matters: The temperature scale is spelled “Celsius.”
- 7. Use the usual term Original: executive Suggested revision: attendant Why it matters: “Front desk attendant” is the natural term for the hotel employee described here.
- 8. Fix the verb phrase Original: put on the electric stove all night Suggested revision: kept the electric stove on all night Why it matters: “Keep something on” correctly describes leaving an appliance operating for a period of time.
- 9. Use precise conditions Original: so that no guest suffers due to the extreme weather Suggested revision: so that no guest has to suffer during unusually cold weather Why it matters: The revision describes the relevant cold conditions more precisely and uses a natural preposition.
- 10. Use the natural determiner Original: your Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The definite article identifies the room's system more naturally than the possessive determiner here.
- 11. Describe the condition Original: room temperature was not comfortable Suggested revision: room was uncomfortably cold Why it matters: This wording states the actual temperature problem directly instead of using a vague negative description.
- 12. Clarify the concession Original: despite his promise, nothing was done Suggested revision: although he promised to help, nothing was done Why it matters: The revised clause makes the employee's promised action explicit and links the contrast clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- have recently stayed recently stayed
- at your hotel - Pan Pacific Perth, at Pan Pacific Perth,
- room heating was ineffectual heating in my room was ineffective
- I am hoping you would repair I hope you will repair
- had an excruciating experience had an extremely uncomfortable stay
- Celcius Celsius
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fulfils its purpose effectively by describing the failed heating, explaining the practical steps taken during the stay, and requesting both repairs and compensation in an appropriately formal tone. Its main limitation is occasional awkward or imprecise wording, compounded by two very long paragraphs that blur the sequence of problem, consequences, and requested action. Use clearer hotel-service vocabulary and separate those stages into focused paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are fully developed with specific details, and the formal tone suits a hotel manager.
Make the requested remedy still sharper by distinguishing the essential repair request from the optional discount request.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically from the heating failure to its consequences and requested action, although two dense paragraphs reduce clarity.
Use distinct paragraphs for the complaint details, the temporary measures and effects, and the remedies requested from the manager.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of complaint and weather vocabulary, but phrases such as front desk executive, put on the electric stove, and room heating are imprecise.
Use natural hotel-service terms such as receptionist, portable heater, and in-room heating system, and correct the spelling of Celsius.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally well controlled, though tense choice, punctuation, and some noun phrases show occasional errors.
Keep the past tense consistent for the completed stay and punctuate introductory and contrasting clauses more carefully.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter:
- give details of what was wrong
- explain what you had to do to overcome the problem at the time
- say what action you would like the manager to take
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.