You are organising a local committee meeting. You would like a local MP to attend the meeting to contribute to a discussion about green areas in the community. Write a letter of invitation to the MP's secretary, Mrs Shelton. In your letter, introduce your committee say why you are having the meeting invite the MP to attend
Sample Response
Dear Mrs Shelton, I am the general secretary of the “Keep Your City Green" committee of our municipality area, and, as the name of this committee implies, its job is to mobilise and motivate the good citizens of our municipality to make them aware of the benefits of green environment in and around our municipality. We also work on tree plantations. And as a part of this effort of ours, we try to organise a discussion session quarterly, in which, renowned, respected and learned residents of our community take part and express their valuable opinions about the progress of our involvements and efforts. But, to make the efforts of this committee even more acceptable, engaging and successful among the citizens of our area, we could certainly use the valuable insights from the honourable MP of our constituent. Now, I fully understand that our honourable MP is a very busy person because of his political works and other priorities, but I would surely like to hope that he would squeeze some time out of his busy work schedule to attend our discussion session which will be held from 10.00 am to 12.30 pm on 15 th September. Yours faithfully, George Tobias
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Missing article Original: benefits of green environment Suggested revision: the benefits of a green environment Why it matters: The noun phrase needs an article before "green environment".
- 2. Natural phrase Original: tree plantations Suggested revision: tree-planting projects Why it matters: This is a more natural phrase for community environmental work.
- 3. Formal link Original: And as a part of this effort of ours Suggested revision: As part of this effort Why it matters: Avoid starting a formal sentence with "And", and remove wordiness.
- 4. Remove comma Original: in which, renowned Suggested revision: in which renowned Why it matters: No comma is needed after "in which".
- 5. Relative clause Original: take part and express Suggested revision: take part to express Why it matters: This makes the purpose of participation clearer.
- 6. Awkward nouns Original: our involvements and efforts Suggested revision: our work and progress Why it matters: The original phrase is unnatural and unnecessarily abstract.
- 7. Formal transition Original: But, Suggested revision: However, Why it matters: "However" is a more formal transition in this invitation.
- 8. Wrong noun Original: honourable MP of our constituent Suggested revision: honourable MP for our constituency Why it matters: The place represented by an MP is a constituency, not a constituent.
- 9. Uncountable noun Original: political works Suggested revision: political work Why it matters: "Work" is uncountable in this context.
- 10. More formal Original: squeeze some time out of his busy work schedule Suggested revision: make time in his busy schedule Why it matters: The original sounds too casual for a letter to an MP’s secretary.
- 11. Date format Original: 15 th September Suggested revision: 15th September Why it matters: There should be no space inside the ordinal date.
- 12. Add contribution Original: attend our discussion session Suggested revision: and contribute to the discussion on protecting local green areas Why it matters: This makes the invitation match the task more explicitly.
Suggested Rewrites
- benefits of green environment the benefits of a green environment
- tree plantations tree-planting projects
- And as a part of this effort of ours As part of this effort
- in which, renowned in which renowned
- take part and express take part to express
- our involvements and efforts our work and progress
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter introduces the committee, explains the meeting about green areas, and invites the MP through Mrs Shelton. The invitation is relevant and polite, though the meeting purpose could be stated more directly and the MP’s expected contribution could be clearer.
Add one sentence specifying what topic the MP would speak about or contribute to during the green-area discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas develop logically, but the response is a single long paragraph with some overloaded sentences. Transitions such as "And" and "But" at sentence openings are informal for this register.
Use separate paragraphs for committee introduction, meeting purpose, and invitation details.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of formal vocabulary, including "mobilise", "discussion session", and "valuable insights". Some phrases are awkward or inaccurate, such as "benefits of green environment", "tree plantations", and "constituent".
Use precise community and environmental collocations, such as "green spaces", "tree planting", and "constituency".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted and the message is clear. Errors with articles, plurals, prepositions, and word forms prevent a higher grammar score.
Check noun phrases carefully, especially article use before general nouns and plural forms after quantifiers.