You have a friend who lives in another country. Write a letter to this friend to visit you. In your letter: - invite him/her to a public event in your country - describe the public event - explain other plans you have for your friend - when he/she will visit
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
Dear Terry, Hope you are enjoying yourself and keeping busy with your work just as you always like to do. I'm writing this letter to invite you to one of the biggest, if not the biggest, and special public events of my country which is called “Independence Day”. But, this event is going to be even more special this time since we are going to celebrate the golden jubilee of our independence. To give you a little idea about how we celebrate our independence day, there'll be huge and colourful parades at one of the largest stadiums of our capital city, where I currently live, which will also be attended by many dignitaries from around the world. At the event, you'll also get to enjoy the air show where some daring aerobatics demonstrations of our military aircraft will be on display. Then, at night, I also have a plan to take you out to enjoy some of the most beautiful and mesmerising fireworks, you would ever get to see, followed by a special cultural show and dinner at our town hall. So, I'm hoping to meet you soon. Warm wishes, Zayed
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix linking phrase Original: But Suggested revision: However Why it matters: “However” provides the intended contrast without the incorrect comma after “But.”
- 2. Add relative-clause comma Original: air show where Suggested revision: air show, where Why it matters: The comma correctly introduces the additional information about the air show.
- 3. Use adjective form Original: aerobatics Suggested revision: aerobatic Why it matters: The adjective “aerobatic” is required to modify “demonstrations.”
- 4. Use correct event verb Original: will be on display Suggested revision: will be performed Why it matters: Demonstrations are performed rather than displayed.
- 5. Make phrasing concise Original: I also have a plan to take you out Suggested revision: I also plan to take you out Why it matters: The direct verb form is more concise and natural.
- 6. Fix relative phrase Original: fireworks, you would ever get to see Suggested revision: fireworks you will ever see Why it matters: Remove the comma and use “will” to complete the superlative expression correctly.
- 7. Complete opening sentence Original: Hope you are enjoying yourself Suggested revision: I hope you are enjoying yourself Why it matters: Adding the subject makes the opening a complete sentence.
- 8. Use natural informal wording Original: keeping busy with your work Suggested revision: staying busy with work Why it matters: This phrasing sounds more natural in a friendly letter.
- 9. Remove unnecessary wording Original: just as you always like to do Suggested revision: as you always like to do Why it matters: Removing “just” makes the phrase more concise without changing its meaning.
- 10. Use precise event wording Original: going to be even more special this time Suggested revision: will be especially significant this year Why it matters: The revision expresses the importance of the anniversary more precisely.
- 11. Link reason clearly Original: since we are going to celebrate Suggested revision: because we will be celebrating Why it matters: This connector states directly why the event will be more significant.
- 12. Use immediately clear term Original: golden jubilee of our independence Suggested revision: 50th anniversary of our independence Why it matters: The replacement is clearer for a reader who may not know “golden jubilee.”
Suggested Rewrites
- But However
- air show where air show, where
- aerobatics aerobatic
- will be on display will be performed
- I also have a plan to take you out I also plan to take you out
- fireworks, you would ever get to see fireworks you will ever see
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter creates an enthusiastic, friendly invitation and vividly describes the Independence Day celebrations and additional evening plans. However, it never states when the friend should visit, leaving one explicit bullet point unanswered, and several long sentences are overloaded or awkwardly punctuated. The priority is to add a clear visit date or period, then divide the plans into shorter, more controlled sentences and paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The invitation, event description, and additional plans are developed in a suitable friendly tone, but no date or period is given for the visit.
State exactly when Terry should arrive and, ideally, indicate how long the visit could last.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from invitation to daytime and evening activities is easy to follow, though the single-block format and some overloaded sentences weaken organisation.
Group the invitation, event details, and other plans into separate paragraphs with shorter sentence units.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad, vivid range of vocabulary naturally, with only occasional awkward combinations such as biggest and special and aerobatics demonstrations.
Improve collocational precision by using expressions such as one of the biggest and most special events and aerobatic displays.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex forms is used with generally strong control, but unnecessary commas and heavily embedded clauses cause occasional awkwardness.
Remove misplaced commas and split the longest relative-clause structures into two accurately punctuated sentences.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have a friend who lives in another country. Write a letter to this friend to visit you. In your letter:
- invite him/her to a public event in your country
- describe the public event
- explain other plans you have for your friend
- when he/she will visit
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.