You paid a refundable deposit when you rented an apartment. You left the apartment in good condition but the Landlord won't return your deposit. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - explain why you are writing - ask for the return of your deposit - inform the landlord of possible legal action
Sample Response
Dear Mr. Coleman, I am writing to request the return of the £800 deposit that I paid to you before I rented No. 21, Britannia Court for the month of April. When I telephoned your office I was told that you are not intending to repay this money and I am unable to understand the reason for this. When I signed the rental agreement it was my understanding that the deposit would be returned if the apartment was vacated dean and undamaged. This was the condition of the flat when I returned the keys. I cleaned the whole apartment and there were no breakages and no damage to fittings or furniture. I believe that I have kept to the terms of the agreement and therefore I respectfully request that my deposit be repaid in full. I shall have no alternative but to seek legal advice if we are unable to resolve this matter in a satisfactory manner. Yours sincerely, Steve Chapman
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise clause Original: before I rented Suggested revision: before renting Why it matters: The gerund form expresses the timing more concisely after 'before'.
- 2. Add introductory comma Original: office I was told Suggested revision: office, I was told Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory dependent clause from the main clause.
- 3. Use simple present Original: are not intending Suggested revision: do not intend Why it matters: The simple present is the natural form for the landlord's current intention.
- 4. Add introductory comma Original: agreement it was Suggested revision: agreement, it was Why it matters: A comma should follow this introductory dependent clause.
- 5. Correct spelling Original: dean Suggested revision: clean Why it matters: The intended adjective describing the apartment is 'clean'.
- 6. Use negative coordination Original: and no damage Suggested revision: or damage Why it matters: Use 'or' to coordinate two items after the negative phrase 'there were no'.
- 7. Use concise adverb Original: in a satisfactory manner Suggested revision: satisfactorily Why it matters: The adverb conveys the same meaning more directly.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: This was the condition of the flat when I returned the keys. Suggested revision: The flat was clean and undamaged when I returned the keys. Why it matters: Naming the condition directly removes the vague reference 'This'.
- 9. Organise the complaint Suggested revision: Separate the purpose, evidence about the apartment's condition, repayment request, and possible legal action into clear paragraphs. Why it matters: Paragraphing would make the sequence of the formal complaint easier to scan.
Suggested Rewrites
- before I rented before renting
- office I was told office, I was told
- are not intending do not intend
- agreement it was agreement, it was
- dean clean
- and no damage or damage
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is highly effective in stating the problem, justifying the refund request with specific evidence, and communicating possible legal action in a controlled formal tone. The main weakness is the lack of paragraph breaks, with one obvious spelling slip slightly reducing an otherwise polished response. Separate the context, supporting condition details, and requested resolution into clear paragraphs, and proofread for isolated errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully achieves its purpose by explaining the dispute, explicitly requesting repayment, and warning of legal action in an appropriately firm register.
Add a clear deadline for repayment to make the requested resolution even more actionable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message follows a clear sequence from the deposit dispute through supporting evidence to the requested remedy and possible escalation.
Divide the letter into distinct paragraphs for the background, the apartment's condition, and the final request.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise and suitably formal, with effective expressions for the agreement, property condition, repayment, and legal escalation.
Maintain this precise register while proofreading for isolated slips such as dean in place of clean.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied, controlled, and consistently clear, including accurate conditional and passive constructions.
Preserve this level of control while using paragraph boundaries and a final proofread to eliminate minor surface errors.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You paid a refundable deposit when you rented an apartment. You left the apartment in good condition but the Landlord won't return your deposit. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter:
- explain why you are writing
- ask for the return of your deposit
- inform the landlord of possible legal action
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.