You recently bought a camera while traveling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter: - give details of the camera and where you bought it - explain what has happened - say what you want him/her to do about it,
Sample Response
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing this letter in context to the camera which I bought last month, from “Best Buy” while I was on my holidays.
I purchased a Canon black DSLR camera for $350 exclusive of VAT. I bought the camera at Best Buy’s Toronto store located near the intersection of Kennedy and Lawrence road. I purchased as my mother’s birthday present, which is why, I did not open the packaging or check inside the box; however, when we opened the box, we discovered that the box was missing a charger and a leather cover. It is in fact very difficult for me to come back to Toronto, only for a charger or a cover because I live in Amritsar, India.
Besides, I am not quite reasonable. Therefore, I would greatly appreciate it if you would be able to deliver me the mentioned items on the address mentioned above, if not, refund me the amount equivalently on my credit card ending with 00301 which is used while making a purchase. Please note my reference number X39H43 as proof of purchase.
I shall await your prompt reply.
Yours faithfully,
Harsh Kaur
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix opening phrase Original: in context to Suggested revision: regarding Why it matters: “Regarding” is the correct formal preposition for introducing the subject of the letter.
- 2. Use defining relative Original: which Suggested revision: that Why it matters: “That” more clearly introduces a defining clause identifying the camera.
- 3. Remove faulty comma Original: last month, from Suggested revision: last month from Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the purchase time from the following place phrase.
- 4. Use natural phrase Original: on my holidays Suggested revision: on holiday Why it matters: “On holiday” is the standard expression for this travel context.
- 5. Order modifiers naturally Original: Canon black DSLR camera Suggested revision: black Canon DSLR camera Why it matters: Colour normally precedes the brand name in this product description.
- 6. Use clearer wording Original: exclusive of VAT Suggested revision: excluding VAT Why it matters: “Excluding VAT” communicates the pricing detail more directly.
- 7. Capitalize proper name Original: road Suggested revision: Road Why it matters: “Road” is part of the proper place name and should be capitalized.
- 8. Improve formal phrasing Original: come back to Toronto, only for Suggested revision: return to Toronto solely for Why it matters: The revision is more concise and appropriate for a formal complaint.
- 9. Fix delivery phrase Original: deliver me the mentioned items on the address mentioned above Suggested revision: deliver the missing items to my address Why it matters: The original uses incorrect prepositions and an unnatural object pattern.
- 10. Fix refund wording Original: refund me the amount equivalently Suggested revision: refund the equivalent amount Why it matters: The adjective “equivalent” should modify “amount,” and “refund me” is unnecessary here.
- 11. Fix card prepositions Original: on my credit card ending with 00301 Suggested revision: to my credit card ending in 00301 Why it matters: Refunds are made “to” a card, and card numbers are described as ending “in” digits.
- 12. Use past tense Original: is Suggested revision: was Why it matters: The card use occurred during the completed purchase, so past tense is required.
Suggested Rewrites
- in context to regarding
- which that
- last month, from last month from
- on my holidays on holiday
- Canon black DSLR camera black Canon DSLR camera
- exclusive of VAT excluding VAT
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter gives specific purchase details, clearly identifies the missing items, and requests practical remedies in an appropriately formal format. Its main weakness is language control: several unnatural expressions and overloaded sentences occasionally obscure the intended meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to state the complaint and requested action in shorter, grammatically complete sentences using accurate prepositions and verb patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are covered with concrete details about the camera, purchase location, missing accessories, and desired resolution.
Make the requested remedy completely precise by giving a usable delivery address or clearly asking for a refund if delivery is impossible.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a sensible complaint-letter sequence, but the long central paragraphs and illogical link 'Besides' weaken the flow.
Separate the purchase circumstances, practical difficulty, and requested solution into shorter paragraphs with accurately chosen transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses adequate complaint and purchase vocabulary, although frequent collocational errors reduce precision and naturalness.
Use standard phrases such as 'regarding the camera', 'send the items to me', and 'refund the equivalent amount to my credit card'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts complex sentences, but missing objects, faulty clause connections, tense errors, and inaccurate prepositions occur repeatedly.
Build shorter complete sentences and check pronoun reference, verb tense, and prepositions before combining ideas with relative or conditional clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently bought a camera while traveling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter:
- give details of the camera and where you bought it
- explain what has happened
- say what you want him/her to do about it,
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.