You took an elderly member of your family who could not walk properly to a museum, and he/she faced a few problems. Write a letter to the manager of the museum. In your letter: - Say why you visited the museum - Describe the problems you faced - Suggest what can be done to avoid those problems
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to express my resentment over the dissatisfied services in your museum. I visited Wonderland Museum and my maternal aunt, who was disabled and experienced problems while visiting there.
Let me acquaint you with the purpose of my visit. Firstly, having been built recently, it fascinated my aunt to see it. Although it was far away from my hometown, she insisted on going there. Secondly, advertisements depicted the escalators, ramp and wheelchairs for the oldsters. Therefore, we could not help going there.
Suffice to say that the beauty of the exterior building was incomparable. However, we were taken aback to see inadequate services there. There were alot of stairs instead of elevators or escalators. Being too old, my aunt found it hard, and she met a narrow escape while climbing up. Besides, the lack of water service for people infuriated them, and many of them decided to go back as we did.
Would you be kind enough to look into the matter? Otherwise, nobody will visit there. Despite being paid well as an entry fee, we did not get sufficient services there. All the problems that the masses experienced must be rectified for your good reputation and making this museum popular to visit.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours Sincerely,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct word forms Original: express my resentment over the dissatisfied services Suggested revision: express my dissatisfaction with the unsatisfactory services Why it matters: 'Dissatisfaction' names the feeling, while 'unsatisfactory' correctly describes the services.
- 2. Direct formal wording Original: Let me acquaint you with Suggested revision: Let me explain Why it matters: The shorter phrase is clearer and suitably formal for a complaint letter.
- 3. Natural reporting verb Original: depicted Suggested revision: showed Why it matters: 'Showed' is a more natural verb for facilities presented in advertisements.
- 4. Parallel plurals Original: the escalators, ramp and wheelchairs Suggested revision: escalators, ramps and wheelchairs Why it matters: The listed facilities should use consistent plural forms.
- 5. Respectful formal term Original: oldsters Suggested revision: elderly visitors Why it matters: 'Oldsters' is informal and unsuitable in a formal letter to a manager.
- 6. Clarify the decision Original: we could not help going there Suggested revision: we decided to visit Why it matters: The original idiom suggests an uncontrollable action rather than a deliberate museum visit.
- 7. Complete fixed phrase Original: Suffice to say Suggested revision: Suffice it to say Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the pronoun 'it'.
- 8. Two-word spelling Original: alot of stairs Suggested revision: many stairs Why it matters: 'Alot' is nonstandard, and 'many stairs' gives the same meaning concisely.
- 9. Accurate respectful cause Original: Being too old, my aunt Suggested revision: Because of her mobility difficulties, my aunt Why it matters: The problem described is limited mobility, and this wording avoids an unsupported generalisation about age.
- 10. Specify the difficulty Original: found it hard Suggested revision: found climbing the stairs difficult Why it matters: Naming the difficult action makes the problem clearer to the manager.
- 11. Correct idiom Original: met Suggested revision: had Why it matters: The standard expression is 'have a narrow escape'.
- 12. Professional tone Original: nobody will visit there Suggested revision: future visitors may be discouraged Why it matters: This avoids an absolute threat while still explaining the likely consequence.
Suggested Rewrites
- express my resentment over the dissatisfied services express my dissatisfaction with the unsatisfactory services
- Let me acquaint you with Let me explain
- depicted showed
- the escalators, ramp and wheelchairs escalators, ramps and wheelchairs
- oldsters elderly visitors
- we could not help going there we decided to visit
Why this response received Band 6.0
The letter has a clear formal purpose, logical paragraphing, and relevant detail about the visit and the access difficulties. Its main limitation is that the proposed remedy remains vague, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical constructions make parts of the complaint less precise. The highest priority is to recommend specific facilities, such as working lifts, ramps, wheelchairs, and accessible water, using direct and natural formal language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose, reasons for visiting, and encountered problems are clear, but the suggested solutions are general rather than specific.
State concrete remedies for each problem, including accessible lifts or ramps, available wheelchairs, and drinking-water facilities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter follows a logical progression through purpose, expectations, problems, and requested action, though some transitions feel formulaic.
Use more direct links between each access problem and its proposed solution instead of relying on stock linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad formal vocabulary, but frequent unsuitable collocations and register choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Prefer straightforward formal wording, replacing phrases such as "dissatisfied services," "oldsters," and "met a narrow escape."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses varied complex structures, but recurring errors in clause construction, agreement, articles, and phrasing sometimes cause confusion.
Review sentence subjects and modifiers carefully, especially in the opening and in sentences beginning with participial or concessive phrases.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You took an elderly member of your family who could not walk properly to a museum, and he/she faced a few problems. Write a letter to the manager of the museum. In your letter:
- Say why you visited the museum
- Describe the problems you faced
- Suggest what can be done to avoid those problems
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.