You took an elderly member of your family, who was not able to walk properly, to a museum and he/she faced a few problems. Write a letter to the manager of the museum. In your letter: - say why you visited the museum - describe the problems you faced - suggest what can be done to avoid those problems
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I recently visitedhave recently visited your museum with my elderly aunt who is about 80 years old, and the main purpose of the visit was to see some of the rare artefacts from medieval Europe. Besides, we also visited the museum becausevisited the museum also because my aunt wanted to see the wartime uniform from the 2nd World War. More importantlyBy the way, seeing those wartime uniforms was especially important for my aunt because it is in those uniforms that she saw her father for the last time before his death on the battlefield.
HoweverAnyway, while everything was great at your museum, my elderly aunt had some problems moving around your museum on foot because of its rather large size. After all, she is about 80 years old and can not walk properly. Besides, the steps on the staircasessteps in the stairs that visitors use to see the items that were displayed high above the groundstacked up high above the ground were a bit too steep for my elderly aunt to climbwalk.
So, to deal with these movement issues, providing wheelchairs and a separate wooden staircase that is not too steep for elderly visitorsthe elderly people would go a long way to help elderly people like my aunt.
Thank you in advance.
Yours faithfully,
Jamie Goldsmith
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter fully covers the visit, the mobility difficulties, and practical remedies, while maintaining a suitably respectful tone. Its main limitation is repeated reference to the aunt and some imprecise or awkward phrasing around the stairs and displays. The highest-priority improvement is to express the access problems and proposed changes more concisely and precisely, using smoother formal transitions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are fully addressed, and the formal tone is appropriate throughout.
Make the proposed access improvements more specific by explaining where a gentler staircase or wheelchair service should be provided.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through the reason for visiting, the problems encountered, and the proposed solutions, with clear paragraphing.
Replace conversational linkers such as “By the way” and “Anyway” with more formal, unobtrusive transitions.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a good range of relevant vocabulary, including precise items such as “artefacts,” “battlefield,” and “wheelchairs,” despite some repetition and awkward combinations.
Reduce repetition of “elderly aunt” and refine imprecise phrases such as “steps in the stairs” and “stacked up high.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence structures is used with generally strong control, and the few grammatical lapses do not impede meaning.
Improve accuracy in complex clauses, especially the sentence explaining the aunt’s memory of her father in wartime uniform.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You took an elderly member of your family, who was not able to walk properly, to a museum and he/she faced a few problems. Write a letter to the manager of the museum. In your letter:
- say why you visited the museum
- describe the problems you faced
- suggest what can be done to avoid those problems
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.