You have noticed a room at your company office that can be used as a relaxation room. Write a letter to your manager and ask to use the room for this purpose. In your letter: - explain why you are suggesting this - which room it is - what changes in the room will need to be done
Sample Response
Dear Mr Oscar, I hope all is wellHope all is well at your end. I work in the your departmentsame department as yours Deleteunder your supervision. DeleteAnyway, I am writing this letter to suggest that a room whicha room, which is occasionally used as a storage facility in the western corner of our office, could serve as a second relaxation room for staffcan be used as an additional relaxation room for our staff. I am especially keen to use this room as an additional relaxation room because the room we already use for the same purpose seems to be rather small. As a result, a number of our staff members area number of our staff is always seen to be spending their breaks outside the officeroaming outside of our office which certainly doesn’t go well with the reputation and professionalism of our office staff. On the other hand, the unused room seems to be larger than the existing relaxation room, and all it needs is some good paintingpaint works, some nice furniture and a TV to make it a fully functionalbefore it can be a fully functional relaxation room. We will also move the existing furniture to this room. So, if you like my suggestion, please let me know, and I would be more than happy to go ahead and turn this unused room into a nice recreational room for our valuable staff. Yours sincerely, Joseph Emanuel
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fully addresses the purpose, identifies the room, explains the need, and proposes practical changes in an appropriately polite register. Its clearest weakness is presentation: the response is delivered as one dense paragraph and includes some awkward or repetitive phrasing, so organise the request into clear paragraphs and refine collocations such as "paint works" and "a number of our staff is."
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are fully covered, and the polite request is supported with relevant detail.
Refine the opening and remove the casual transition "Anyway" to make the register consistently professional.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a sensible sequence, but the single dense paragraph and the illogical use of "On the other hand" weaken cohesion.
Use separate paragraphs for the reason, room description, proposed changes, and closing request.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, though repetition and awkward collocations such as "paint works" reduce precision.
Replace awkward wording with natural phrases such as "a fresh coat of paint" and vary repeated references to the relaxation room.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex sentences is generally well controlled, with a few non-impeding agreement and phrasing errors.
Review agreement and noun phrases, especially "a number of staff are" and "the same department as you."
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have noticed a room at your company office that can be used as a relaxation room. Write a letter to your manager and ask to use the room for this purpose. In your letter:
- explain why you are suggesting this
- which room it is
- what changes in the room will need to be done
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.