You have learned from a news article that a real estate company is going to build a shopping centre near your home. However, you think that the shopping centre should not be built there. Write a letter to the city counsellor. In your letter: - say how you have learned about the plan - explain how it is going to negatively affect the residential area - where you live - say what you think the city council should do about it
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a resident of Woodley in Berkshire, and I have decided to write this letter after reading a recent news article about the plan to build a shopping centre in our residential area. Needless to say, we do not really like this idea, and I hope that you would take the necessary initiatives to halt this project which would otherwise disrupt the peaceful lives of the residents.
Our residential area is already over-populated, with not enough streets and parking spaces. Of course, the shopping centre will have its own parking spaces, but sometimes, those parking spaces just might not be enough to accommodate all the cars. And if that is the case, the mall visitors most likely would park their cars in our streets and parking spaces, making our streets even more crowded. The commotions, businesses and people would make our peaceful residential area worse to live in.
Another problem is that our residential area has a sizable, college and university-going, young population who, most likely, would start wasting their time in the shopping centre in the name of socializing and having fun, instead of focusing on their studies.
These are just some of the possible negative effects, but they should be good enough to convince you to relocate this shopping centre to a commercial area, away from any residential areas.
Thank you in advance.
Yours faithfully,
Keith Marshall
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: initiatives Suggested revision: steps Why it matters: “Take the necessary steps” is the idiomatic collocation for official action.
- 2. Add clause comma Original: halt this project which Suggested revision: halt this project, which Why it matters: The non-defining relative clause needs a comma before “which”.
- 3. Use standard spelling Original: over-populated Suggested revision: overpopulated Why it matters: The closed form “overpopulated” is the standard spelling.
- 4. Place adverb naturally Original: most likely would park Suggested revision: would most likely park Why it matters: The probability adverb normally follows the modal verb.
- 5. Fix place prepositions Original: in our streets and parking spaces Suggested revision: on our streets and in our parking spaces Why it matters: Vehicles park “on” streets but “in” parking spaces.
- 6. Simplify awkward phrase Original: a sizable, college and university-going, young population Suggested revision: a sizable population of college and university students Why it matters: The original sequence of modifiers is awkward and difficult to parse.
- 7. Use respectful tone Original: they should be good enough to convince you to relocate Suggested revision: I hope they will persuade you to relocate Why it matters: This wording makes the request more appropriately respectful to the councillor.
- 8. Use general plural Original: away from any residential areas Suggested revision: away from residential areas Why it matters: The zero article is more natural when referring to residential areas in general.
- 9. Write more directly Original: I have decided to write this letter Suggested revision: I am writing Why it matters: The direct present-tense phrase is more concise in a formal letter.
- 10. Remove unsupported opener Original: Needless to say, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The residents’ opposition is not self-evident, so this discourse marker is unnecessary.
- 11. State opposition clearly Original: we do not really like this idea Suggested revision: we strongly oppose this proposal Why it matters: This wording communicates the residents’ position more clearly and formally.
- 12. Use direct modal Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: “Will” is more natural for a direct request about future action.
Suggested Rewrites
- initiatives steps
- halt this project which halt this project, which
- over-populated overpopulated
- most likely would park would most likely park
- in our streets and parking spaces on our streets and in our parking spaces
- a sizable, college and university-going, young population a sizable population of college and university students
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter is purposefully structured, identifies the writer's location and source of information, and supports the objection with developed examples before proposing relocation. Its main limitation is occasional imprecise or overstated wording, especially in the discussion of noise, businesses, and students, which slightly weakens the persuasiveness of an otherwise clear case. The highest-priority improvement is to express the anticipated impacts with more precise, neutral language and evidence-based reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All requested points are fully addressed in a suitably formal letter, with clear objections, developed consequences, and a direct recommendation to relocate the centre.
Strengthen the case further by replacing the speculative claim about students with a more objective impact on traffic, noise, or local services.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is purposeful, ideas progress logically from context to two effects and a proposed solution, and referencing is consistently clear.
Create an even tighter progression by linking the final recommendation explicitly to the traffic and disturbance discussed earlier.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad range of topic-appropriate vocabulary, but choices such as "commotions," "businesses," and "worse to live in" are imprecise or awkward.
Use precise formal alternatives such as "noise and congestion," "commercial activity," and "a less pleasant place to live".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent and mostly well controlled, with minor punctuation and phrasing issues that do not impede meaning.
Remove unnecessary commas around modifiers and refine conditional structures to make the argument more consistently polished.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have learned from a news article that a real estate company is going to build a shopping centre near your home. However, you think that the shopping centre should not be built there. Write a letter to the city counsellor. In your letter:
- say how you have learned about the plan
- explain how it is going to negatively affect the residential area
- where you live
- say what you think the city council should do about it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.