You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Now you want to write to your friend about the place. Write a letter to a friend about the place. In your letter: - explain where the place was and how you got there - describe what you saw - offer to take your friend there
Sample Response
Dear Leon, I have just returned from my holidays in France and while we were there we climbed a mountain called 'Parleman' in the French Alps. We were able to drive halfway up the mountain but then the road stopped. So we parked, put on our walking boots and began the long uphill struggle. But the place was a bit of heaven and I wish to take you to this excellent place someday. In spite of the road at the beginning, it still took us a while to complete the climb but it was well worth the effort. When we got to the top of the mountain, the view was incredible. I could see right across the town and the lake to one side, and on the other side were the snow-covered peaks of Mont Blanc. It was simply breathtaking. As you know, we often go to France for our holiday and next time we plan a trip, I'd really like to take you there. I'm sure you would love the scenery and as you enjoy exercise, you would be able to take advantage of all the mountain walks. Hope to meet you soon. Warm wishes, Paul
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate linked clauses Original: France and while Suggested revision: France, and while Why it matters: A comma helps separate the two independent clauses joined by “and.”
- 2. Use precise verb Original: stopped Suggested revision: ended Why it matters: A road “ends” rather than “stops” at a particular point.
- 3. Use natural idiom Original: a bit of heaven Suggested revision: a little piece of heaven Why it matters: This is the more idiomatic expression for an exceptionally beautiful place.
- 4. Match friendly tone Original: wish to take you Suggested revision: would love to take you Why it matters: This wording sounds warmer and more natural in a letter to a friend.
- 5. Clarify the view Original: right across the town and the lake to one side Suggested revision: across the town and lake on one side Why it matters: The revision describes the visible scene more directly and avoids the vague intensifier “right.”
- 6. Match repeated trips Original: holiday Suggested revision: holidays Why it matters: The plural “holidays” fits the repeated trips indicated by “often.”
- 7. Use familiar closing Original: meet Suggested revision: see Why it matters: “See you” is more natural when writing to a friend one already knows.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: In spite of the road at the beginning, it still took us a while to complete the climb but it was well worth the effort. Suggested revision: Although the road took us halfway up the mountain, completing the climb still took a while, but it was well worth the effort. Why it matters: The original concession is unclear because the existence of the road is not logically opposed to the time needed for the climb.
- 9. Group the key stages Suggested revision: Use separate paragraphs for the journey up the mountain, the view from the top, and the invitation to return together. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would make the route, description, and invitation easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- France and while France, and while
- stopped ended
- a bit of heaven a little piece of heaven
- wish to take you would love to take you
- right across the town and the lake to one side across the town and lake on one side
- holiday holidays
Why this response received Band 8.0
This engaging letter fully covers the destination, the journey, the scenery, and the invitation in a warm, convincing voice. Its vivid vocabulary and varied sentence structures are especially strong, while the main limitation is that the presentation could be more clearly divided and one transition about the road is imprecise. The best improvement is to organise the journey, view, and invitation into distinct paragraphs with consistently exact linking.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully and naturally developed, and the friendly tone creates a convincing sense of personal impact.
Refine the account of the climb so every detail of the route is unambiguously expressed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter follows a clear sequence from arrival and ascent to the view and future invitation, with smooth internal connections.
Use distinct paragraphs for the journey, the scenery, and the invitation, and clarify the transition beginning In spite of the road.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, vivid, and natural, with effective phrases such as long uphill struggle, snow-covered peaks, and breathtaking.
Maintain the same precision in less successful phrasing, particularly the vague reference to the road at the beginning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is handled with strong control, and the few minor imperfections do not impede communication.
Polish occasional awkward constructions and check singular-plural choices such as holiday when describing repeated trips.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Now you want to write to your friend about the place. Write a letter to a friend about the place. In your letter:
- explain where the place was and how you got there
- describe what you saw
- offer to take your friend there
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.