You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Now you want to write to your friend about the place. Write a letter to a friend about the place. In your letter: - explain where the place was and how you got there - describe what you saw - offer to take your friend there
Sample Response
Dear Samuel, I hope you are doing excellent. I am writing to inform you about a place I had been to for the first time and the experience is overwhelming. I would like to take you there and show you how this part of the city is different from the rest. Recently, I, along with a group of people, visited a slum area as part of social activity. This slum is situated in a distant place, away from the city outskirts and could be reached on foot only. Upon entering the area, I was surprised by the children who were ready to welcome us; they were eagerly waiting that someone would bring something for them to eat. We spent about 4 hours playing games, explained to them the importance of personal hygiene, taught them few important social aspects, gave them food which we took along with us and at the end of the session we distributed around 30 winter blankets for each family in the slum. When we were in the midst of the slum, I personally saw and felt their poverty, their longing for help and their need for social awareness. When we were leaving, I was so happy to see the smiles on their faces. The trip to the slum infused me with an idea to gather a few more and ask them for their help in supporting the slum dwellers. I know that you are very much interested in these types of philanthropic activities. If you agree, we can visit there next week and help them in any way possible. Yours truly, Prasad
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use an adverb Original: doing excellent Suggested revision: doing very well Why it matters: The verb phrase needs an adverbial expression rather than the adjective "excellent".
- 2. Correct past tense Original: had been to for the first time Suggested revision: visited for the first time Why it matters: Simple past is appropriate for the completed first visit.
- 3. Keep tense consistent Original: is Suggested revision: was Why it matters: The experience occurred during the completed visit, so past tense is needed.
- 4. Add the article Original: as part of social activity Suggested revision: as part of a social activity Why it matters: The singular countable phrase "social activity" requires an article.
- 5. Clarify the location Original: away from the city outskirts Suggested revision: beyond the city outskirts Why it matters: "Beyond" clearly indicates that the area lies outside the city's outskirts.
- 6. Place modifier naturally Original: could be reached on foot only Suggested revision: could only be reached on foot Why it matters: Placing "only" before the passive verb phrase sounds more natural.
- 7. Use correct preposition Original: that Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The verb "wait" takes "for" before the person expected.
- 8. Add the determiner Original: taught them few Suggested revision: taught them a few Why it matters: "A few" is required to mean a small number of countable things.
- 9. Use a precise noun Original: aspects Suggested revision: skills Why it matters: "Social skills" states more clearly what the children were taught.
- 10. Clarify earlier action Original: food which we took along Suggested revision: food that we had brought Why it matters: Past perfect makes clear that the food was brought before it was given out.
- 11. Add introductory comma Original: at the end of the session we distributed Suggested revision: at the end of the session, we distributed Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory time phrase from the main clause.
- 12. Clarify the quantity Original: around 30 winter blankets for each family Suggested revision: around 30 winter blankets, one for each family Why it matters: The original wording incorrectly suggests that every family received about thirty blankets.
Suggested Rewrites
- doing excellent doing very well
- had been to for the first time visited for the first time
- is was
- as part of social activity as part of a social activity
- away from the city outskirts beyond the city outskirts
- could be reached on foot only could only be reached on foot
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter communicates the visit vividly, covers all three requested points, and gives the friend a clear reason and opportunity to join a future trip. Its main limitation is language control: several unnatural collocations and shifts in tense reduce precision, while the single dense paragraph weakens readability. The highest priority is to organise the account into clear paragraphs and revise awkward phrases for natural, consistent expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are covered, and the impact of the visit is developed with relevant detail, though the tone is occasionally too formal for a friend.
Use a consistently warm, informal register and make the location description more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account follows a logical sequence and uses referencing and linking effectively, but presenting the whole letter as one dense paragraph limits readability.
Separate the opening, visit description, personal reaction, and invitation into distinct paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably broad vocabulary conveys the charitable visit and its emotional effect, but several collocations such as "waiting that" and "taught them few important social aspects" are unnatural.
Prioritise natural word combinations and simpler precise wording when expressing unfamiliar ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter uses varied complex structures and remains clear, although recurring article, tense, and clause-construction errors reduce control.
Review tense consistency and article use, especially in the opening and descriptions of the completed visit.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Now you want to write to your friend about the place. Write a letter to a friend about the place. In your letter:
- explain where the place was and how you got there
- describe what you saw
- offer to take your friend there
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.