You are studying a short course in another country. Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider. But there is a major problem with the accommodation. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter: - say what the problem is - describe the accommodation you thought you were getting - ask the provider to solve the problem
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
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Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Graham Neelam, a participant in the Effective Recruiting Management Course that your university has organised. I am writing this letter to you to complain about serious problemssome inconveniences that I am facing with the room that I was allocatedwas allotted to stay in during my course. Before I joined the course, I requested single-room accommodationapplied for single-room accommodation in writing. I also mentioned that I would prefer to stay near the universitynear the university, not far away from it. Unfortunately, I was given a shared room with another studentthat I have been sharing with another student for the last couple of weeks. Moreover, it is at least a 35-minute walk35 minutes walking distance from the building where our classes are heldconducted. The room is not large enough to accommodate two people comfortablysupport the healthy living of two persons, and its ventilation system is dreadful. Fresh air and sunlight can barely enter the roomcan hardly get in. The room is crowded with two beds, two desks, and it does not have adequate space. On top of that, my roommate has visitors who oftenfrequent visitors who often stay overnight. It interrupts my studies and privacy. I thought I was getting a single room with enough sunlight and airflow and which would not be far away from the campus. Instead, shared accommodationa shared accommodation was arranged for me that has a poor ventilation system. I would greatly appreciate itSo I would highly appreciate it if you could arrange a large single room for mearrange for me a single and large room that has a adequate ventilation and natural lightproper ventilation system and enough airflow. The room I need should be conducive to healthy living and serious study. I look forward to receiving your assistance with this mattergetting your support regarding this matter. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Graham Neelam
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter explains the accommodation problem thoroughly, contrasts the promised and actual room clearly, and makes a specific, suitably formal request for replacement accommodation. Its main limitation is unnecessary repetition of the ventilation, space, and single-room points, which makes the response longer and less concise than needed. The priority is to group each required point into one focused paragraph and remove repeated descriptions while retaining the strongest supporting details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The communicative purpose is fully achieved, with detailed coverage of the current problems, expected accommodation, and requested solution in an appropriate formal tone.
Retain the specific request but remove repeated room descriptions so each bullet point is developed once and efficiently.
Coherence and Cohesion
The progression from expectations to current conditions and the requested remedy is clear, but repetition and single-block formatting weaken cohesion.
Create distinct paragraphs for the original arrangement, present problems, and requested replacement, using one set of details in each.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad range of relevant accommodation and complaint vocabulary, although some wording is repetitive or awkward.
Replace phrases such as “support the healthy living of two persons” and “a shared accommodation” with concise natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are handled with generally good control, while minor errors occur in distance expressions, pronoun reference, and countability.
Use forms such as “a 35-minute walk,” “shared accommodation,” and “these visits interrupt my studies and invade my privacy.”