You are studying a short course in another country. Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider. But there is a major problem with the accommodation. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter: - say what the problem is - describe the accommodation you thought you were getting - ask the provider to solve the problem
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Graham Neelam, a participant in the Effective Recruiting Management Course that your university has organised. I am writing this letter to you to complain about some inconveniences that I am facing with the room that I was allotted to stay in during my course. Before I joined the course, I applied for single-room accommodation in writing. I also mentioned that I would prefer to stay near the university, not far away from it. Unfortunately, I was given a shared room that I have been sharing with another student for the last couple of weeks. Moreover, it is at least 35 minutes walking distance from the building where our classes are conducted. The room is not large enough to support the healthy living of two persons, and its ventilation system is dreadful. Fresh air and sunlight can hardly get in. The room is crowded with two beds, two desks, and it does not have adequate space. On top of that, my roommate has frequent visitors who often stay overnight. It interrupts my studies and privacy. I thought I was getting a single room with enough sunlight and airflow and which would not be far away from the campus. Instead, a shared accommodation was arranged for me that has a poor ventilation system. So I would highly appreciate it if you could arrange for me a single and large room that has a proper ventilation system and enough airflow. The room I need should be conducive to healthy living and serious study. I look forward to getting your support regarding this matter. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Graham Neelam
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State the complaint firmly Original: some inconveniences Suggested revision: serious problems Why it matters: The stronger phrase matches the major accommodation problem described.
- 2. Use concise passive wording Original: was allotted to stay in Suggested revision: was allocated Why it matters: A room is allocated to someone, so the infinitive phrase is unnecessary.
- 3. Use a precise request verb Original: applied for single-room accommodation Suggested revision: requested single-room accommodation Why it matters: Requested directly expresses the accommodation preference submitted in writing.
- 4. Remove repetition Original: near the university, not far away from it Suggested revision: near the university Why it matters: Not far away repeats the meaning of near.
- 5. Avoid repeated wording Original: that I have been sharing with another student Suggested revision: with another student Why it matters: Shared room already conveys the idea of sharing.
- 6. Use the compound measure Original: 35 minutes walking distance Suggested revision: a 35-minute walk Why it matters: A hyphenated compound adjective gives the distance naturally.
- 7. Use natural classroom wording Original: conducted Suggested revision: held Why it matters: Classes are held is the more natural collocation.
- 8. Express capacity naturally Original: support the healthy living of two persons Suggested revision: accommodate two people comfortably Why it matters: The revision conveys the room's inadequate size clearly and idiomatically.
- 9. Clarify what enters Original: can hardly get in Suggested revision: can barely enter the room Why it matters: The revision states the destination explicitly and uses more precise wording.
- 10. Remove duplicated frequency Original: frequent visitors who often Suggested revision: visitors who often Why it matters: Frequent and often repeat the same idea.
- 11. Remove the article Original: a shared accommodation Suggested revision: shared accommodation Why it matters: Accommodation is uncountable in this use.
- 12. Use a formal transition Original: So I would highly appreciate it Suggested revision: I would greatly appreciate it Why it matters: Removing So and using greatly creates a more formal request.
Suggested Rewrites
- some inconveniences serious problems
- was allotted to stay in was allocated
- applied for single-room accommodation requested single-room accommodation
- near the university, not far away from it near the university
- that I have been sharing with another student with another student
- 35 minutes walking distance a 35-minute walk
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter explains the accommodation problem thoroughly, contrasts the promised and actual room clearly, and makes a specific, suitably formal request for replacement accommodation. Its main limitation is unnecessary repetition of the ventilation, space, and single-room points, which makes the response longer and less concise than needed. The priority is to group each required point into one focused paragraph and remove repeated descriptions while retaining the strongest supporting details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The communicative purpose is fully achieved, with detailed coverage of the current problems, expected accommodation, and requested solution in an appropriate formal tone.
Retain the specific request but remove repeated room descriptions so each bullet point is developed once and efficiently.
Coherence and Cohesion
The progression from expectations to current conditions and the requested remedy is clear, but repetition and single-block formatting weaken cohesion.
Create distinct paragraphs for the original arrangement, present problems, and requested replacement, using one set of details in each.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad range of relevant accommodation and complaint vocabulary, although some wording is repetitive or awkward.
Replace phrases such as “support the healthy living of two persons” and “a shared accommodation” with concise natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are handled with generally good control, while minor errors occur in distance expressions, pronoun reference, and countability.
Use forms such as “a 35-minute walk,” “shared accommodation,” and “these visits interrupt my studies and invade my privacy.”
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are studying a short course in another country. Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider. But there is a major problem with the accommodation. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter:
- say what the problem is
- describe the accommodation you thought you were getting
- ask the provider to solve the problem
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.