You paid a refundable deposit when you rented an apartment a year ago. You left the apartment last month in good condition, but the landlord won’t return your deposit. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - introduce yourself and say why you are writing - ask for the return of your deposit - inform the landlord of possible action if he/she does not agree to refund the amount
Sample Response
Dear Mr Singh,
I am writing to express my deep concern that one month after moving out of your apartment, my deposit has still not been refunded.
To let you know about myself, Alok Singh was a tenant of your Baner, Pune property for almost one year and then vacated the place last month. After leaving, I was expecting my collateral amount, Rs. 75000, which I paid when renting the residence, to be returned to me within a week.
But, it has been a month, and I have not received my money. I would be grateful if you return my security deposit as soon as possible as I have got new accommodation in Mumbai and has to pay the deposit to my new property owner.
I kindly request you to return my refundable amount immediately. Else I will be left with no alternative but to take legal action as it is clearly stated in the agreement that the deposit must be returned within a week after leaving the property.
I look forward to receiving my full deposit money.
Best Regards,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: express my deep concern that Suggested revision: express my concern that Why it matters: Removing the unnecessary intensifier makes the formal complaint more measured.
- 2. Use natural introduction Original: To let you know about myself Suggested revision: To introduce myself Why it matters: This is the natural concise phrase for identifying yourself in a formal letter.
- 3. Keep first-person voice Original: Alok Singh was a tenant Suggested revision: I was a tenant Why it matters: The writer should refer to himself in the first person rather than switching to his name.
- 4. Add location preposition Original: your Baner, Pune property Suggested revision: your property in Baner, Pune Why it matters: The preposition is needed to express the property's location naturally.
- 5. Avoid vague wording Original: and then vacated the place Suggested revision: and vacated it Why it matters: Using the pronoun gives a more direct reference to the property already mentioned.
- 6. Clarify the action Original: After leaving, I was expecting Suggested revision: After moving out, I was expecting Why it matters: This phrase more precisely describes ending the tenancy.
- 7. Use tenancy term Original: collateral amount Suggested revision: security deposit Why it matters: Security deposit is the accurate term for refundable money paid to a landlord.
- 8. Format the amount Original: Rs. 75000 Suggested revision: Rs 75,000 Why it matters: A thousands separator makes the monetary amount clear and conventionally formatted.
- 9. State the subject Original: when renting the residence Suggested revision: when I rented the residence Why it matters: Adding the subject makes the time clause explicit and easier to read.
- 10. Use formal transition Original: But Suggested revision: However Why it matters: However is the appropriate conjunctive adverb for this contrast and correctly takes the comma.
- 11. Fix conditional form Original: if you return Suggested revision: if you could return Why it matters: Would be grateful is conventionally followed by a polite conditional form.
- 12. Use precise verb Original: got Suggested revision: found Why it matters: Found is more precise and appropriately formal in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- express my deep concern that express my concern that
- To let you know about myself To introduce myself
- Alok Singh was a tenant I was a tenant
- your Baner, Pune property your property in Baner, Pune
- and then vacated the place and vacated it
- After leaving, I was expecting After moving out, I was expecting
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter clearly states its purpose, covers the requested points, and maintains an appropriately firm tone, with the legal consequence supported by the rental agreement. Its main limitation is uneven language control, including awkward word choices, a third-person self-introduction, and several agreement or conditional errors. The highest priority is to revise these sentences into accurate, natural first-person formal English while reducing repetition around the refund request.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are addressed, and the firm but polite tone suits a letter to a landlord.
Strengthen the case for a full refund by explicitly noting that the apartment was left in good condition.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically from the delayed refund to the request and possible legal action, with clear paragraphing.
Use smoother transitions and combine repeated refund requests so that the progression feels less mechanical.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the situation, but expressions such as collateral amount and refundable amount are awkward in this context.
Use precise, consistent terms such as security deposit, landlord, and return or refund throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures communicates the message clearly, although agreement and conditional errors recur.
Correct forms such as I would be grateful if you returned and I have to pay, and keep the self-introduction in the first person.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You paid a refundable deposit when you rented an apartment a year ago. You left the apartment last month in good condition, but the landlord won’t return your deposit. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter:
- introduce yourself and say why you are writing
- ask for the return of your deposit
- inform the landlord of possible action if he/she does not agree to refund the amount
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.