The office where you work does not have a cafeteria for staff. Write a letter to your manager requesting that a cafeteria be set up. In your letter: - say what you have heard from staff about the inconvenience - explain how you feel about it - give suggestions for setting up a cafeteria
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to you to propose openingto forward my suggestion for opening a cafeteria of our own onin our office premises.
Our employees face considerablesevere inconvenience due to the lack of a cafeteria on our office premises. To begin with, we have strict deadlines to meetstrict deadlines to adhere to on most projectsfor most of the projects and employees often need breaks for coffee or teacoffee or tea breaks. HoweverBut, the lack of an on-site cafeteriaa cafeteria service forces them to walk across the road. They often complain that it wastes valuable timekills their valuable time. Moreover, some of our employees, who bring food from home, are forced to eat luncheat their lunch on the stairs, whichstaircases - which is not a pleasant experience for them.
I believe we need to have a cafeteria of our own so that our employees do not waste their time by repeatedly visiting the cafeteria across the roadgoing back and forth to a cafeteria that is located across the road. I also feel that we need to offer a suitable place to our employees so that they can enjoy their lunch.
Therefore, I would recommend a cafeteria with a snack bara snack bar and a cafeteria in our company's recreational area that can accommodate at least 25 peoplemore than 25 people at a time and serve snacks and drinks. We can hire two staff membersa couple of staff for the canteen so that they meet our employees' needsserve the need of our employees. This place will also work as a stress-relieving area where employees can relax over a cup of coffee.
I hope you would consider my suggestions.
Yours faithfully,
Michael Arlen
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter is purposeful, well developed, and professionally organised, covering staff complaints, the writer's view, and concrete plans for a cafeteria. Its main limitation is minor imprecision in several collocations and some repeated wording, although communication remains consistently clear. The best refinement is to condense repeated justification and use more natural phrases when proposing the facility and staffing arrangements.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The request is clear, appropriately formal, and fully develops staff inconvenience, the writer's feelings, and feasible setup suggestions.
Make the proposal even more actionable by identifying one preferred facility rather than recommending both a snack bar and a cafeteria.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and purposeful, and the letter progresses smoothly from the problem through personal reaction to practical recommendations.
Trim repeated explanations about employees leaving the premises so each paragraph contributes distinct information.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a strong range of workplace and proposal vocabulary, with a few unnatural expressions such as forward my suggestion and serve the need.
Use more idiomatic phrases such as propose setting up, meet employees' needs, and waste valuable time.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used with strong control, while only minor article, preposition, punctuation, and agreement slips occur.
Polish small details such as on the premises, meet the needs of employees, and punctuation before non-defining relative clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
The office where you work does not have a cafeteria for staff. Write a letter to your manager requesting that a cafeteria be set up. In your letter:
- say what you have heard from staff about the inconvenience
- explain how you feel about it
- give suggestions for setting up a cafeteria
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.