During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter: - remind him when and where you met - tell him what kind of job you are interested in - say why you think you would be suitable for the job
Sample Response
Dear Mr Barron, I am Robert Caldwell, who sat next to you on a flight from Brisbane to London on September 18th. You offered me your business card after hearing about my enthusiasm to work in a restaurant. I am writing regarding my keen interest to work in one of your restaurants as an assistant manager. It was very kind of you to advise me that I should contact you if I ever want to work in a restaurant. As I mentioned briefly during our delightful conversation, I used to work at a restaurant as an assistant manager and took a break from work to complete my Master's degree. Now that I am willing to work again, I would like you to consider me as a potential employee in one of your restaurants in Australia - perhaps as an assistant manager. I have worked as an assistant manager in a reputed restaurant in Melbourne for about 3 years, and before that, I was in charge of the customer care department in a retail shop. I have completed a course in hotel management from one of the top management schools in Australia. I am positive that my skills and expertise will be useful to your organisation. If you have any queries, please contact me at the email address or phone number provided on my Curriculum Vitae. Yours sincerely, Robert Caldwell
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate salutation and body Original: Dear Mr Barron, I am Suggested revision: Dear Mr Barron, I am Why it matters: A formal letter places the opening sentence on a new line after the salutation.
- 2. Correct noun complement Original: enthusiasm to work Suggested revision: enthusiasm for working Why it matters: Enthusiasm takes for followed by a noun or gerund.
- 3. Correct interest pattern Original: keen interest to work Suggested revision: keen interest in working Why it matters: Interest takes in followed by a gerund.
- 4. Backshift reported wording Original: want Suggested revision: wanted Why it matters: The past reporting verb advised requires wanted in the reported condition.
- 5. Use natural readiness phrase Original: willing to work again Suggested revision: ready to return to work Why it matters: The replacement expresses present availability more naturally in a job enquiry.
- 6. Use correct adjective Original: reputed Suggested revision: reputable Why it matters: Reputable means having a good reputation, whereas reputed does not fit naturally here.
- 7. Correct study preposition Original: from Suggested revision: at Why it matters: A course is completed at an educational institution rather than from it.
- 8. Use lowercase common noun Original: Curriculum Vitae Suggested revision: curriculum vitae Why it matters: Curriculum vitae is a common noun and does not require capitalization here.
- 9. Format the sign-off Original: Yours sincerely, Robert Caldwell Suggested revision: Yours sincerely, Robert Caldwell Why it matters: The sender's name should appear on a separate line beneath the formal closing.
- 10. Use formal date style Original: on September 18th Suggested revision: on 18 September Why it matters: The day-month format is concise and conventional in formal correspondence.
- 11. State purpose directly Original: writing regarding my Suggested revision: writing to express my Why it matters: The replacement introduces the application purpose more directly.
- 12. Format the dash Original: Australia - perhaps Suggested revision: Australia—perhaps Why it matters: An em dash without surrounding spaces correctly marks this parenthetical addition.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Mr Barron, I am Dear Mr Barron, I am
- enthusiasm to work enthusiasm for working
- keen interest to work keen interest in working
- want wanted
- willing to work again ready to return to work
- reputed reputable
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter’s strongest feature is its convincing fulfilment of all three requirements: it identifies the flight precisely, states the desired role, and supports suitability with relevant management, customer-service, and training experience. Its main limitation is organisation, because the entire letter is presented as one continuous paragraph despite several clear communicative stages. Prioritise dividing it into purposeful paragraphs and refining a few collocations such as ‘interest in working’.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose and desired position are explicit, and every bullet point is fully developed in a suitably professional register.
Tighten the repeated references to the assistant-manager role so the application remains concise and focused.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear logical sequence, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens the letter’s organisation and readability.
Separate the meeting reminder, job request, suitability evidence, and closing contact details into distinct paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a broad and effective professional vocabulary, with only occasional awkward combinations such as ‘keen interest to work’ and ‘willing to work again’.
Use natural collocations such as ‘keen interest in working’ and ‘ready to return to work’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor, non-impeding slips.
Refine the few preposition patterns around ‘interest’ and ‘course’ to make an otherwise controlled letter more polished.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter:
- remind him when and where you met
- tell him what kind of job you are interested in
- say why you think you would be suitable for the job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.