During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter: - remind him when and where you met - tell him what kind of job you are interested in - say why you think you would be suitable for the job
Sample Response
Dear Mr Reynold, I am Paul Strang, and I am lucky enough to have been introduced to you just a few days ago. Not sure if you will remember me, but I had an opportunity to talk with you about two weeks ago when we both were travelling by air from Boston to Dallas. I was sitting next to you, and after we got introduced, we had some interesting conversations. You were kind enough to suggest to me that I should contact you for a possible job position at one of your restaurants. So, here I am, sir, as I would like to apply for a managerial position at your restaurant. I think that I would be a very suitable candidate for the managerial position in one of your restaurants because I have already worked as an Assistant Human Resource and Payroll Manager for a large and busy residential hotel in my hometown. I have learned a great deal about customers’ needs in the service industry. Besides, I also have a post-graduate diploma in human resource management. So, based on my credentials and experience, I think, I should be able to render excellent service to your company. I would very much like to work for your company. I am hoping that you would give me an opportunity to prove my worth. Yours sincerely, Paul Strang
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add subject and verb Original: Not sure if Suggested revision: I am not sure whether Why it matters: The original is a sentence fragment and 'whether' suits this formal embedded question.
- 2. Use direct meeting phrase Original: had an opportunity to talk with you Suggested revision: spoke with you Why it matters: The concise verb reports the encounter more naturally.
- 3. Improve word order Original: we both were travelling by air Suggested revision: we were both flying Why it matters: This is the natural placement of 'both' and the more concise verb for a plane journey.
- 4. Use simple past Original: was sitting next to you Suggested revision: sat next to you Why it matters: The simple past is sufficient for this completed event.
- 5. Use reflexive introduction Original: we got introduced Suggested revision: we introduced ourselves Why it matters: The reflexive construction is the natural way to describe two people exchanging introductions.
- 6. Use singular conversation Original: some interesting conversations Suggested revision: an interesting conversation Why it matters: The letter describes one discussion during a single flight.
- 7. Remove extra object Original: suggest to me that Suggested revision: suggest that Why it matters: 'Suggest' introduces the that-clause directly here.
- 8. Remove redundant job Original: possible job position Suggested revision: possible position Why it matters: 'Position' already means a job in this context.
- 9. Use professional purpose Original: So, here I am, sir Suggested revision: I am therefore writing Why it matters: The revised phrase states the letter's purpose in a suitably professional register.
- 10. Reflect restaurant chain Original: at your restaurant Suggested revision: at one of your restaurants Why it matters: The businessman owns a chain, so this wording accurately reflects the available setting.
- 11. Avoid repeated position Original: the managerial position in one of your restaurants Suggested revision: such a position in one of your restaurants Why it matters: The reference avoids repeating 'managerial position' from the preceding sentence.
- 12. Use human resources Original: Resource Suggested revision: Resources Why it matters: The established department and professional field is called 'human resources.'
Suggested Rewrites
- Not sure if I am not sure whether
- had an opportunity to talk with you spoke with you
- we both were travelling by air we were both flying
- was sitting next to you sat next to you
- we got introduced we introduced ourselves
- some interesting conversations an interesting conversation
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter covers all three requirements convincingly, especially by identifying the Boston-to-Dallas flight and linking relevant hotel-management experience and qualifications to the requested managerial role. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire letter forms one block, while conversational phrases and several awkward collocations weaken the professional register. The priority is to organise the response into clear functional paragraphs and make the application language more natural.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The meeting is clearly recalled, the desired managerial position is specified, and suitability is supported with relevant experience and a qualification, though the tone occasionally becomes too conversational.
Replace informal appeals such as ‘here I am, sir’ and ‘prove my worth’ with a concise, professional request for consideration.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the meeting reminder to the application and supporting credentials, but the single-block format and some repetition weaken cohesion.
Separate the reminder, target role, evidence of suitability, and closing request into distinct paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range supports a detailed employment application, but phrases such as ‘got introduced’, ‘possible job position’, and ‘render excellent service’ sound awkward.
Prefer natural professional wording such as ‘met’, ‘vacancy’, ‘management experience’, and ‘contribute effectively’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a useful range of complex structures, but fragments, comma placement, and awkward verb patterns create noticeable non-impeding errors.
Turn ‘Not sure if you will remember me’ into a complete sentence and review verb complements and unnecessary parenthetical commas.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter:
- remind him when and where you met
- tell him what kind of job you are interested in
- say why you think you would be suitable for the job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.