You have seen an advertisement inviting candidates to apply for a sales manager position. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter: - state your interest in the position - describe your educational background - describe your relevant experience
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I recently sawhave recently noticed an advertisement in the Weekly Times announcingadvertisement in the Weekly Times magazine that announces a vacancy for a sales managerjob vacancy for the position of sales manager in your company. I am writing to apply as a qualified candidateoffer myself as a deserving candidate for the post. I have been working in Cubical Property and Resource Management as a senior marketing officer for the pastlast three years and my total relevant experiencemy total experience in this field amounts to approximately six yearsaccounts for approximately 6 years. I have earned my B.Com atcompleted my B.Com from the University of Leeds with distinctionwith a distinction and then earned an M.B.A. from Cardiff Universitythen completed M.B.A from Cardiff University. As a commerce major, I started my professional life in the fieldarena of marketing and I truly enjoy this challenging fieldposition. I have been in the marketing sector ever sinceafter I left university. I am enclosing my curriculum vitae that outlines my academic and professional profile in detaildetails for your considerationfor your kind consideration. I am driven by passion, ambitiongoal and integrity. I will surely be a valuable asset to your company and would like to discuss my candidacy for the post in person. I can be reached at +44 020 6534 anytime you wish.
Yours faithfully, Oliver Gill
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's strongest feature is its complete, relevant account of the applicant's interest, commerce qualifications, and six years of marketing experience in a suitably formal letter. Its main limitation is imprecise professional wording, with phrases such as "offer myself as a deserving candidate" and "experience accounts for" sounding unnatural or overly assertive. The priority is to present specific managerial achievements in concise, idiomatic application language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly states interest and covers education and relevant experience with appropriate detail, though the claim of suitability is not supported by a concrete achievement.
Add one brief example of a sales or marketing result that demonstrates readiness for the managerial role.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information is easy to follow from application purpose through experience, education, and closing request, but the body is not divided into functional paragraphs.
Separate qualifications, professional experience, and availability into concise paragraphs to make the application easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of employment vocabulary, but several collocations are unnatural, including "offer myself," "accounts for six years," and "in details."
Use professional phrases such as "apply for the position," "have six years of experience," and "provides details of."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is handled clearly, although article, tense, preposition, and noun-form errors occur in several sentences.
Proofread qualification and experience phrases, especially "an MBA," "since leaving university," and "in detail."
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have seen an advertisement inviting candidates to apply for a sales manager position. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter:
- state your interest in the position
- describe your educational background
- describe your relevant experience
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.