Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school. In your letter: - ask whether the school will accept your son - describe his academic achievements - describe his interests

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 7)

Sample Response

1

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inquire about the possibility of accepting my 14-year-old son14 years old son for Grade 7 at your schoolin grade 7 at your school as we are planning to move to AdenAden city next month. I would appreciate it if you could advise me on the enrolment processassist in the enrolment procedure. I have searched many schools in Aden and found yours the most suitable for my sonfound yours the most appropriate to take my son to. My son, Abir,My son 'Abir' is a diligent student and his academic record is excellenthis academic records are excellent so far. He scored 93% in his final exam in grade 7. His current teachers and friends admire him very much. Besides, he participates in various school activities activelydifferent school activities spontaneously. He enjoys art and has participatedHe likes art and participated in many cultural eventstraditional occasions organized by local education authorities in Sana'a. Sport is his favourite hobby and he has always been an active member of the school's sports team. It would be so kind of you if you could accept himif you accept him intoin your school in early June 2020 and let him join the class Deleteat the beginning of the calendar year. I wouldwill be grateful if you consider his application to your schoolsupport him to be accepted into your esteemed school. Yours faithfully, Abdalwhab Mansur

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The letter has a clear formal purpose and supports the admission request with specific academic results, extracurricular participation, art interests and sports involvement. Its main weakness is uneven precision: the grade and joining-date details are internally confusing, while several collocations and grammatical forms sound unnatural. Prioritize a single, unambiguous admission request followed by clearly grouped achievements and interests in separate paragraphs.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Scoring rule

All three bullet points are covered with relevant specific detail and a suitable formal tone, but the grade level and proposed start date are not fully consistent.

Next step

State the intended grade and admission date once and ensure the son's current academic information aligns with that request.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The content follows a logical request-achievements-interests sequence, though the single paragraph and repeated acceptance requests reduce cohesion.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for the enquiry, academic record, interests and final request, avoiding repetition of the admission purpose.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

The vocabulary is adequate for school admission and achievements, but several choices such as 'take my son to' and 'participated spontaneously' are awkward.

Next step

Use precise school-admission collocations such as 'enrol my son,' 'academic record,' 'takes part regularly,' and 'consider his application.'

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

A range of structures is attempted and meaning remains clear, but errors in age expressions, verb patterns, conditionals and prepositions recur.

Next step

Correct forms such as '14-year-old son,' 'if you would accept him,' and 'admit him to the school,' then check tense consistency.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school. In your letter:

- ask whether the school will accept your son

- describe his academic achievements

- describe his interests

Your response

Words0
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Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.