You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the Opportunity Shop in the shopping centre has cheap second-hand furniture. Write to the shop owner. In your letter: - describe what furniture you need - ask whether the shop has these items - ask what the items cost
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have just arrived from overseas and purchased a flat which needs some furniture. A friend has recommended me your store and he and told me that you sell budget-friendly second-hand furniture and I am writing to inquire about a few of them that I intend to purchase. Regarding my intention to purchase furniture, I would like a single bed, a kitchen table, four chairs, a cupboard for clothes, a bookcase and a wooden cabinet. If you sell home appliances, I would like a microwave oven, a television set and a rice cooker. The furniture must be in good condition and the electronic goods must be branded products with at least six months valid warranty remaining. I would really appreciate it if you could inform me of the availability of those items along with their prices and details. I hope you can offer a good bargain as I am looking for something cheap. If you do not supply electrical goods, can you recommend another shop which does? Also, could you let me know when can I come and inspect the items in person? I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Garcia Hall
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match task situation Original: purchased a flat Suggested revision: rented an unfurnished flat Why it matters: The task states that the writer has rented an unfurnished flat.
- 2. Fix verb pattern Original: recommended me your store Suggested revision: recommended your store to me Why it matters: “Recommend” takes the thing recommended as its object, followed by “to” plus the recipient.
- 3. Remove extra conjunction Original: he and told me Suggested revision: he told me Why it matters: The additional “and” breaks the clause structure.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: a few of them Suggested revision: a few items Why it matters: “Furniture” is uncountable, so “them” does not refer to it clearly.
- 5. Reduce repetition Original: Regarding my intention to purchase furniture Suggested revision: Regarding the furniture I need Why it matters: This transition states the paragraph focus more directly and avoids repeating “intention” and “purchase.”
- 6. Use consistent category Original: electronic goods Suggested revision: electrical appliances Why it matters: The listed microwave, television, and rice cooker are more precisely described as electrical appliances.
- 7. Fix warranty phrase Original: at least six months valid warranty Suggested revision: at least six months of valid warranty Why it matters: The duration requires “of” before the noun phrase “valid warranty.”
- 8. Improve price wording Original: offer a good bargain Suggested revision: offer me a good price Why it matters: A shop more naturally offers a customer a good price.
- 9. Use indirect order Original: when can I come Suggested revision: when I can come Why it matters: An embedded question uses statement word order after “let me know.”
- 10. Clarify recent move Original: just arrived from overseas Suggested revision: recently moved here from overseas Why it matters: This wording more clearly explains why the writer is furnishing the flat.
- 11. Use concise wording Original: budget-friendly Suggested revision: affordable Why it matters: “Affordable” is more concise and suitably formal in this enquiry.
- 12. Use precise furniture term Original: cupboard for clothes Suggested revision: wardrobe Why it matters: “Wardrobe” is the standard term for a cupboard used to store clothes.
Suggested Rewrites
- purchased a flat rented an unfurnished flat
- recommended me your store recommended your store to me
- he and told me he told me
- a few of them a few items
- Regarding my intention to purchase furniture Regarding the furniture I need
- electronic goods electrical appliances
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response covers the requested furniture, availability, and price questions clearly, and its formal tone and detailed item list make the purpose easy to follow. Its main weakness is reduced accuracy: it changes the rented flat to a purchased one, adds somewhat distracting appliance requirements, and contains several grammatical slips; the priority is to stay faithful to the scenario and proofread sentence structures, especially indirect questions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly describes the needed furniture and asks about availability and prices, although it alters the flat's status and gives substantial space to appliances.
Keep the background consistent with the rented-flat scenario and focus the supporting detail more tightly on second-hand furniture.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically ordered and cohesive devices guide the reader, but the single-block presentation and some repetition reduce clarity.
Divide the letter into short functional paragraphs and streamline repeated references to purchasing furniture.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and appropriate for a polite enquiry, with only a few awkward combinations such as 'recommended me your store.'
Use more natural collocations, for example 'recommended your store to me,' and choose concise wording for warranty requirements.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates a useful range of structures, but errors such as 'he and told me,' the warranty phrase, and inverted word order in an indirect question are noticeable.
Proofread complex sentences and use statement word order after indirect questions, as in 'when I can come and inspect the items.'
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the Opportunity Shop in the shopping centre has cheap second-hand furniture. Write to the shop owner. In your letter:
- describe what furniture you need
- ask whether the shop has these items
- ask what the items cost
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.